Unbreakable Bond
by taylor519
Summary: Dally and Johnny had a unique friendship. A bond so strong not even death could break it. NO SLASH INTENDED. A story of their friendship and how the events of the book effected them. Read and Review please!
1. Chapter 1 Movie Scene

_Disclaimer- I do not own The Outsiders, they belong to S.E Hinton. _

_This isn't really a story; it's certain points of the book that I would like to write from a different point of view, mostly Dally and Johnny's. I love the friendship between these two and this fanfic kind of focuses on that. Hope you enjoy it!_

Chapter Two- The Movie Scene

**Dally's POV**

I waited for Pony and Johnny at the corner of Pickett and Sutton. We were early, so we went around town doing whatever we wanted. Stealing, breaking laws, bothering people, the usual. We went over to the Dingo, talking with whoever was there. I saw Tim Shepard there, but avoided him. I slashed his tires a while ago, and he was looking for revenge. I wasn't scared or nothing, just had better things to do then whip his ass. We saw a pretty good fight while we were there, but I could hear the sirens coming around the corner and decided we should get going. Cops aren't too fond of me.

I lead Ponyboy and Johnny around to the back of the Nightly Double and hopped the fence to get in. I have enough money to get in; it's just more fun to break the law. We sat down behind some broads by the concession stand. The one redhead sure was a looker.

I decided to have some fun with them. They were socy girls, real stuck-up; I wanted to see how much they could take. I started to talk real dirty, loud enough for them to hear me. I can talk really dirty if I want to, and right then, I wanted to.

I was really getting to the redhead. She was chewing hard on her gum. But the other one was pretending not to hear me. I didn't like that too much. I had gone pretty far by now with my dirty talking, and I had expected a reaction by now. I leaned back and put my feet on the redhead's chair, since I was making the most progress with her. I looked back at Pony and winked. He was nervous, I could see it on his face, but that didn't matter. The kid was too soft anyways. Then I said something so dirty, it had to get to her.

It did. She turned around and glared at me. I almost laughed out loud at the look on her face. Damn, she sure was something else though. With looks like that I was wondering what she was doing out here without some jockey soc guy to protect her from-well, me.

"Take your feet off my chair and shut your trap," she snapped.

I gave her a cool stare. "Who's gonna make me?"

Her friend turned and said something to her about me, acting like I wasn't even there. I recognized them then. "I know you two. I've seen you around the rodeos," I told them.

That redhead looked at me with something smart to say, "It's a shame you can't ride bull half as good as you can talk it." That was the best she could do? She was in for a real scare with me.

"You two barrel race, huh?" I asked casually.

"You'd better leave us alone, or I'll call the cops!" The redhead told me. I rolled my eyes; cops can't do nothing to me, except ruin my good time.

"Oh my, my, my, you've got me scared to death," I said mockingly, then bragged to her about my record. Most people would say that's nothing to brag about, decent people would say that. I ain't decent. I'm very proud of my record, they ought to give out awards to people who've done the shit I've done and continue to do it.

"Please leave us alone. Why don't you be nice and leave us alone?" She begged me. Hah! I had her begging now.

"I'm never nice," I told her. I grinned slyly, "Want a coke?"

I could tell she was really mad by then. Perfect. "I wouldn't drink it if I were starving in the desert. Get lost, Hood!" She insulted. I had her right where I wanted her. I shrugged and went off to get her a coke anyways. I was not going to leave them alone.

When I got back she was talking to Ponyboy, and Johnny was sitting there nervously. The poor kid was always nervous around people he didn't know. His good for nothing parents have turned him into a nervous wreck.

I gave a coke to the girl who was ignoring me, and she took it, which surprised me. But I didn't want her, I wanted the redhead. "That might cool you off," I said, handing it to her. I sat down beside her, and I could feel her glaring at me.

She threw the coke in my face and shouted at me. I wiped it off with my sleeve and looked at her. "Fiery, huh? Well, that's the way I like 'em," I said smiling evilly at her. I started to put my arm around her, and she pushed me off. So, I went at her again, this time, I heard a voice behind me try to stop me.

"Leave her alone, Dal." It was a knee jerk reaction to knock the guy out for trying to tell me what to do. So I whipped around. But it was Johnny standing there, looking at me with his black eyes.

"Huh?" I was taken off guard. Johnny hardly ever spoke, and even the toughest of greasers knew not to try to tell me what to do. I saw Johnny gulp and turn a little pale. Did he really think I would hit him?

"You heard me, leave her alone," he said quieter. If it had been anyone else, anyone, I would've kicked their ass. But not Johnny. Never Johnny. I didn't really know how to react to this situation. I scowled for a second, knowing I couldn't keep harassing the girl, or beat up Johnny. I turned and stormed off. I hated that. It made me look weak. Walking away because some little brat told me to. But it wasn't just a little brat. It was Johnny, so I had no other option.

I ran into Tim later that night. Got into a pretty good fight too. Me and Tim are always fighting about one thing or another. Probably because he's one of the only guys who know me and are willing to stand up to me. I cracked a couple ribs, but gave him a pretty good black eye and might have broken his nose, so I figured we were pretty much even. I went to Bucks to try to sleep it off.

I got into the crowded house, it smelled like alcohol and smoke. The music was so loud it hurt my ears. I like this place a lot better when I'm drinking too. I stopped to get some water and felt and hand slide around my waist. I spun around to Sylvia, trying her best to look innocent. That look never worked for her. She was so far from innocent I didn't even understand why she tried to use that look anymore. Might as well draw a giant middle finger on her forehead.

"Get off me Sylvia." I glared at her.

"Baby, you aren't really still mad at me are you?" She asked in the sweetest voice she could muster up while running her hands over my chest and arms. I rolled my eyes, grabbed her hands and pulled her away from me.

"Get lost. I'm not in the mood for you right now." I told her, grabbing my water and stalking off. I could hear her pouting angrily behind me. I didn't care. If she wanted some she could go find it somewhere else. She's just another whore. A whore with a wicked attitude. That's what had attracted me to her in the first place, the attitude.

I lay down in my bed, but could not sleep. The music was so loud I could never tune it out. Not to mention the occasional gasping or moaning that came from the rooms around mine. My side hurt fiercely, I tried to ignore that. Nothing I can't handle. It would heal soon enough.

* * *

**Johnny's POV**

I went to get a coke, knowing Dally wasn't headed anywhere good with this. Those girls were really getting frustrated.

When I got back, Dally was gone. I looked around before saying a shy "hi," to the girls. They were really pretty. Pony was talking with the redhead a lot, and I wished I could talk that much with her. I'm just not a real talkative person. She seemed like a real nice girl though, even if she was a soc. Dally came back and I knew there would be trouble. He gave each of the girls a coke and the redhead threw it back into his face.

"That might cool you off, greaser. After you wash your mouth and learn to talk and act decent, I might cool off, too." She snapped at him. I bit my tongue. You just don't say things like that to Dally.

He started to put his arm around her, and she struggled against him. She didn't have a chance; he was too strong for a girl like her. I could feel Pony's nervousness beside me. I felt nervous too. I didn't want Dally to do anything to her; she never did anything to us. He started to put his arm around her again, and I stood up.

"Leave her alone, Dal," I said, a little too demanding. He turned and glared at me. I wanted to sink back into my seat, but I didn't. Dally wouldn't hit me. Would he?

"Huh?" He asked, angrily. I gulped down my fear and felt myself pale a little bit. I didn't think he would hit me, but you never know with Dally. I don't think I would be able to handle a hit from him. It wouldn't be anything worst than what my father has done, physically. But I have come to expect beatings from my father. I did not expect Dally to hit me. I stood my ground anyways though.

"You heard me, leave her alone," I said quieter, and cursed myself inwardly when my voice shook a bit. I hoped no one noticed it. Dally scowled at me for a second, then turned and walked off. I sat back down, thankful. I was a little stunned he had left. No one tells Dally what to do. Well, I guess I just did.

The redhead-we learned her name was Cherry- turned and thanked me. "He had me scared to death," she said. I smiled at her, we had both just stood up to Dallas Winston, and that took a lot of guts.

"You sure didn't show it," I complimented her, "nobody talks to Dally like that."

She smiled back at me, she was so pretty, "from what I saw, you do," my ears got red at her statement. I really had just told him what to do. I smiled again at my sudden bravery. Ponyboy was still staring at me, surprised. Yeah, I'm surprised too.

Cherry's friend, Marcia, grinned at us and invited us to sit up there with them. Me and Pony looked at each other. Tonight was really something else. I stood up to Dally and now we picked up some tuff-looking soc girls. We gladly hopped up and joined them.

We made small talk for a little while. It was nice to be able to talk to girls and feel comfortable. Greaser girls are too loud and obnoxious for me. When the topic went back to Dally, the girls talked about him like he was trash, and I felt I needed to take up for him.

"Dally's okay," I said defensively. I didn't want them thinking the wrong thing about him. No, he wasn't a respectful person, he was a hood. But he was a good guy at the same time. He knew the score and he looked after his buddies. "He's tough, but he's a cool old guy."

"He'd leave you alone of he knew you," Pony backed me up.

"Well, I'm glad he doesn't know us," Marcia said crookedly. It made me tense up a bit, I didn't like the way she talked about him. Sure he had probably just scared the crap out of her, but she didn't know him, what he'd been through, and what he was really like. I ignored it though and we watched the movie.

After a while, I felt a hand come down hard on my shoulder. "Okay, greasers, you've had it." I deep voice said. I swear I jumped out of my skin. I slammed my eyes shut and prayed it wasn't what I thought it was.

My hand was already going to my switchblade when Pony said, "glory, Two-Bit, scare us to death!" I let out the breath I hadn't realized I was holding and looked back at a grinning Two-Bit.

"Hey, Two-Bit," I said, trying to sound normal, but my voice came out weak and shaky. Wow, I bet I sound real tuff right now. Two-Bit messed up my hair affectionately.

"Sorry, kid, I forgot," he told me, still grinning. I calmed myself down a little bit as he hopped over the seats and started to flirt with Marcia. I talked a little more than I usually do for the first bit of the night. Found out Tim Shepard was out looking for Dally, too.

We watched the rest of the movie in silence, other than Two-Bit and Marcia yapping. Their conversation didn't make any sense to me at all. It was hard to keep up with Two-Bit sometimes. Cherry and Pony went to get us all popcorn, and when they came back, Cherry gave me a quick glance. I didn't know what it was, sympathy, pity, something like that. I didn't like it anyways; I would have to ask Ponyboy about it later. I was a real nice night though.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**I'll be writing soon and updating soon. I'm not going to do every chapter, because if you guys wanted to know the story you would read the book again. So I'm just going to be doing chapters and sections that I really want to show Johnny and Dally's bond because I really like their friendship. THERE WILL BE NO SLASH! Although, I'll probably add in scenes that were missing from the book, like Dally in the hospital before the rumble visiting Johnny, or maybe something more with Sylvia, not sure yet. Comment and let me know what you think, or what scene you would like to read and I might write it for you. Please keep reading, believe me, the second chapter is way better, I was kind of blocked on this one, but the next chapter is much better!**


	2. Chapter 2  The Stabbing

Chapter Four-The Stabbing

**Johnny's POV**

I had fallen asleep in the lot by Pony. He was going on about the country. It sounded so perfect the way he described it. So perfect it was hard to believe it could actually exist. I hoped I could go there one day. Even if it was just for a while, it would be nice to escape. I had thought about running away many times before, but I just couldn't do that to the gang. They really did care about me. I don't really know why, I'm kind of a lost cause, and I hardly even talk. But I'm not complaining, most of the time, they are all that keep me going. The gang is the only reason I don't just give up.

I woke up from a strong gust of wind. I shivered and looked over at Pony, still sleeping. I wondered how he could sleep through this cold with only that sleeveless sweater on. He must be a deeper sleeper than me. Then again, I'm a pretty light sleeper. You have to be if you sleep outside, anyone could be out there. I shook him to wake him up. He grumbled and rolled a little so I shook him a bit harder.

I told him to get home. I didn't know what time it was, but it was defiantly late. Darry was going to go nuts on Ponyboy. He really cared about the kid, even if he was kind of harsh sometimes. Pony invited me to come over and sleep on their couch, but I declined. I crash over there a lot, especially in the winter, and I kind of felt bad about it. I know they don't mind, but Darry has to work two jobs to pay for putting up Soda and Pony, he doesn't need another kid living under their roof.

I rolled myself over and tried to fall back asleep, but it was really cold. I tried to think about other things, imagine I wasn't really there. That usually worked. I found my mind wandering and wondering what it was like to have parents that care about you. I'll never know. Mr. and Mrs. Curtis were always so good to their three boys. I was kind of envious of them, but I was also happy for them. They were my example of a normal, happy family. They were the people that showed me that life wasn't always so messed up. I missed Ponyboy's parents. They were always so good to me, and everyone in the gang. They were the closest thing I had to a caring family, I hated that they were gone. Now the closest thing I had to a good family was... Dally.

Dally always took care of me.

_Flashback - A couple months ago._

_I was walking with him towards the Dingo, when some socs tried to jump us. They had gotten out of their car, slurring swears and threatening us. I was kind of terrified, but I didn't show it. Dally pulled out his blade, and I followed his lead, taking out my own._

_He stepped forward, and to the drunken socs it simply looked like a step. But to me, I could see he had placed his body between them and me. He cussed them out and threatened them right back. There were only three of them, and it didn't look like any of them had weapons, so they decided to get back in their mustang and drive off. It was a smart move on their part, since I knew Dally would cut them to ribbons if he had to._

_He turned and looked at me._

"_You alright, buddy?" He asked me. I nodded but I could feel myself shaking. He handed me a smoke and it calmed me down a little. We started to walk again, and I could feel the colour return to my face, but my hands were still shaking. Dally must've noticed because he slung his arm over my shoulders and said, "Don't worry about it, kid. I won't let them get to you again. They ain't gonna get you again." _

_I was relieved to have him with me, to hear him say that. I felt safe._

_End Flashback_

I woke up to someone kicking me. My hand immediately went to my back pocket where my switchblade was. Then I shook my head and realized it wasn't someone kicking me, it was Ponyboy tripping over me. He looked a mess. He had tears streaming down his face and he pulled me up.

"Come on, Johnny, we're running away." He told me. I could tell he was freaking out, so I didn't ask any questions and ran with him. We ran until we couldn't run anymore, then finally stopped and sat on a curb. He was really scaring me. I had never seen him so worked up before. I tried to shush him, to comfort him. He stopped crying a little bit and started smoking.

When he looked calm enough to talk I asked him what had happened. Darry hit him. My jaw dropped but I snapped it shut before he could see. I understood what abuse was like, but not from someone who loved you. I would never expect Darry to hit him. Ponyboy had never been hit in his life. I listened to him tell me about what happened. I wished there was something I could do for him, something I could say, but there wasn't. So I just listened and hoped that would be enough.

He finally decided to walk through the park and cool off then go home. I never really expected him to run away. He knew the life he had was better than anything he would get without his brothers. They cared about him, and took care of him. I'm sure Darry really didn't mean it either. They loved him, no matter what. He had to know that.

He had to be freezin' to death out here at the park. I was freezin' and I had my jean jacket.

A car horn went off behind us and we both jumped. A blue mustang was circling the lot. I knew that car. I hated that car. They were defiantly looking for us, too. We found out earlier tonight that those girls we picked up were theirs. We couldn't even run for it, as Pony had suggested, because they were already coming towards us. I gulped when I saw them. I wished I hadn't said anything to that Cherry girl. I wished we had just ignored them. I wished I had just let Dally go on doing whatever he wanted. I saw her sweet face in my mind and shrunk back a little at my thoughts. I didn't really regret standing up for her. I just regretted what the consequences would be.

They were drunk. And definitely looking for a fight. They threw insults, but I ignored what they were saying. I was focusing on the one guy's rings. They glinted in the moonlight and I restrained myself from shuddering. I hated these guys, I hated them so much. They had caused me so much pain, so much weakness. Then, out of nowhere, Ponyboy threw an insult back. I would've turned and asked him what the hell he was doing if the socs weren't there.

They jumped on each of us. I was hit a couple times, but it wasn't so bad, it was not the guy with the rings. He had Pony. I struggled to get free and help him. He needed me, I couldn't let them hurt him the way they hurt me. He was too young and full of life for that. I couldn't escape though. I was getting hit, and then I was thrown to the ground. The soc started to kick me, and I gasped as he knocked the breath out of me.

I wished profusely that Dally would show up. That anyone would show up. I heard Dally's voice in the back of my head, "_I won't let them get to you again. They ain't gonna get you again." _Then, the guy stopped kicking me. I guess he figured I was passed out or something. I heard water splashing and Ponyboy struggling against them.

I collected myself the best I could and stood up. I felt a rush of dizziness come over me, but pushed it away. I looked at them, drowning him in the fountain. He would die. They were going to kill them. I couldn't let that happen. I pulled my blade out of my back pocket and ran towards them. Everything suddenly felt really clear, like it was happening in slow motion. I stabbed the blade into the one who was closest to me. He let out a horrible sound. It was half yelp, half gurgle. They all turned to look at me, as I pulled the blade out of him. My hand was oddly steady as I glared at them and the boy fell to the ground. His body hit the cement with a thud, and with that sound, they all ran. They took off as fast as they could.

I moved mechanically. I walked over to Ponyboy and pulled his still body out of the fountain. I hoped he wasn't dead. He just couldn't be dead. I sat down in momentary shock.

His coughing startled me. My mind suddenly snapped to reality and I realized what I was looking at: a dead body. A lifeless boy, lying on the pavement, his blood running out of him. I had taken his life. I killed him. His rings shimmered again in the moonlight and I squeezed my eyes shut, then opened them again. He was still there. I was still sitting against the fountain. Ponyboy was still coughing up water. At least he was still alive.

"I killed him," I said, but it wasn't my voice, "I killed that boy." Ponyboy got sick. I didn't take my gaze off the dead kid. I had really caused that. My mind was screaming everything at me, but at the same time, nothing at all.

"You really killed him, huh, Johnny?" Ponyboy said. I still didn't move, didn't even blink. I tried to explain it to him. He couldn't blame me, it was self-defence. They were going to kill him. I had to. I had to.

"They were going to beat me up," I stammered out.

"Like..." he paused, "like they did before?" He asked quietly. I wondered how long he had known it was them. He was so smart; I don't know why I thought he wouldn't figure it out.

"Yeah," I told him. Then I told him quietly what happened. I could hardly believe it myself. He jolted up suddenly, startling me.

"Johnny! What are we going to do? They put you in the electric chair for killing people!" He screamed. He's right. What do we do? The poor kid was shaking so bad, and screaming too. I jumped up and grabbed him, calming him down. He shouldn't be in this mess, he shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be either, but he was only fourteen! He had a family, and a future. He shook out of my grasp and calmed himself down a little, but I could tell he was still panicking. I had to think of something to do. I had to get us out of here.

I looked around and started brainstorming. We have to leave. Go somewhere, skip town. We have to get ourselves a gun, and money. Somewhere to hide out. Things would work out alright if we can just get ourselves out of here. Where could we get these things?

"Dally." I concluded. Of course Dally will help us! I relaxed more at the thought of his help. "Dally'll get us outa here." I heard Ponyboy sigh with relief. He would be at Bucks, if not, we would find him wherever he is. We needed him, and he would be there for us.

When we got to Bucks and told him we needed to see Dally, I thought for a second he wasn't going to let us see him, then Pony took charge and yelled at Buck to go get him. Luckily, he complied and wandered off into the crowded house.

A few moments later, Dally appeared. I was much more calmed down by now, knowing we found Dally and he would take care of us. I told him everything that happened. He didn't care that I killed a soc, he didn't blame me. He congratulated me, actually. I apologized for getting him away from the party, but knew he wouldn't care, if I needed him. He said it was fine, he was in the bedroom. At that, Pony's ears got bright red. I could see them through the darkness. I would've laughed at his naivety if we weren't in such a serious situation.

Dally dragged us up to one of the rooms and sat us on the bed. He gave Pony some dry clothes-the poor kid must've been freezing-and went off to get us some more things. I lay down on the bed and wished for a weed. I needed something to calm my nerves. This whole thing seemed like a horrible, horrible dream. Yet, it was so real.

Dally came back and gave us a gun and some money. I took it thankfully and made sure the money was secure in my pocket.

"Pony, do Darry and Soda know about this?" Dally asked him. Pony told him no. They would figure it out soon enough though; it would surely be in the paper tomorrow. I hoped they would be alright. It isn't fair to them to have to worry about Pony over something I did. Dally started giving us instructions and I listened carefully to every word. I knew Dally would have a plan. I knew Dally would get us out of this.

He walked us back out to the front porch. He messed up my hair and said gently, "take care, kid." I didn't want to leave him. I wanted him to come with us and help us and take care of us. We didn't have to be afraid with Dally around. But, I knew that wasn't an option.

"Sure, Dally, thanks," I said, and ran off with Ponyboy.

Once we got on the train, we sat down and tried to relax. We were both awfully tired. Ponyboy lay down on my legs and fell asleep. He looked so peaceful and innocent lying there, but the gun beside him contradicted that. I would have to watch out for him now. It was just the two of us and we would have to be careful.

I fought off sleep every way I could. I wished I could be asleep on the Curtis couch right now. Content and relaxed. I didn't know if I would ever get to go back there. I hoped so, but not if it meant getting arrested. I couldn't get the chair. Even if, for some reason, they spared my life, I would spend it in jail. I was terrified of jail. I remembered a conversation I had a while ago with Dally...

_Flashback_

_After my father passed out, I picked myself up and slid out of my house. My head was pounding and my arm hurt really badly. I knew I could get painkillers from the Curtis', but I didn't want to go there yet. Darry would make a fuss over bandaging me up and they would all give me sympathetic looks. I went to the park and sat on the swings. I blew out a smoke ring and looked up at the sky. I hated my life. I wanted to get out so badly._

_I noticed Dally come up beside me and sit next to me. I looked over at him and his eyes turned angry at the look of my face. I looked away again, but heard him cuss under his breath. I liked that he didn't give me sympathetic looks like everyone else. He had been through what I'm going through, so he couldn't pity me. He could only hate my situation as much as I did._

"_Out on 'good behaviour' again?" I asked, referring to the fact that he was supposed to be in jail._

"_You know it." He told me, lighting up his own smoke._

"_Dally?" I asked, suddenly, "What's jail like?" I don't know why I asked, just curious I guess._

"_Shoot, kid. I already told you all my good jail stories," he said, blowing a smoke ring. I know he's told us stories. Bragged to the gang about fights he got in while he was there and stuff like that. But that's not what I wanted to hear. That wasn't the truth._

"_No, Dally," I said, shaking my head lightly, "I mean, what's it really like?" He looked at me for a second, and I thought he might just ignore me, or stalk off, but he didn't. He shrugged lightly._

"_I hope you never have to go there," he said so quietly I almost couldn't hear. We sat in silence for a little bit, as I thought about that._

"_It's really that bad, huh?" I asked. He didn't have to answer me. He knew that. He did though._

"_Not for me, not anymore," he said, hesitantly, "it was... before, when I was younger." He was talking quietly, and there was a hint of sadness to his voice. I knew I was the only person who ever got to see this side of him, and I took a bit of pride in that. He ran a hand through his hair and looked down at the ground. I looked back up at the sky and threw my weed down, stomping it out. "Where you crashing tonight?" He asked me, his voice back to normal._

"_I don't know, Pony's probably," I told him. He nodded and stood up._

"_C'mon, I'll walk with you," he said, and I stood up to join him. We walked in silence, but it was a comfortable silence._

_End Flashback_

I woke Ponyboy up at our stop. I had to basically drag him out of the train. My legs hurt and were tingly, but I forced them to move. After what seemed like forever, we got to the old church that Dally had directed us to and crashed onto the floor. I fell asleep immediately.

* * *

**Dally's POV**

Buck came storming into my room, without knocking.

"Damn, Buck! If you don't learn to knock I'll kick your teeth in!" I snarled at him, upset that he woke me just as I was falling asleep.

"There's some boys here to see ya," he said in his gruff voice, "Ponyboy and Johnny, I think."

I rolled out of bed and cringed at the pain in my side. Johnny didn't usually come near this place and Darry would smash Pony's head in if he knew he was here, so this must be important. I walked down the stairs and met them at the front porch.

They looked terrified. Both of them had wide eyes and scared expressions. I asked what they wanted and Johnny started going on about how they were getting jumped. Then Johnny told me he killed a soc. Wow. Johnny really killed someone. I didn't show my surprise, since I could see they were both already riled up. It sounded to me like the kid deserved it anyways. I was glad they came to me; that was smart. I had a plan in case something like this happened to me; I just never thought I would be using it on Johnny and Ponyboy. I started to say something, then noticed Pony was shaking.

"Ponyboy, are you wet?" I asked him. He stammered a yes and I grabbed him and yanked him inside. Stupid kid. What was he doing out in the cold in a wet short-sleeved shirt. I cussed him out while dragging them up to my room. Ponyboy started to wander into the living room on our way up, and I had to yank him back. Darry would kill me if I let Ponyboy see what goes on in that room. I threw Ponyboy a towel. "You ought to know better than to run away in just a sweatshirt, and a wet one at that. Don't you ever use your head?" I nagged him. I heard my words and realized I sounded like Darry. I quickly left the room hoping no one noticed. Darry's a good guy, and I could never do what he does-raising two boys and working two jobs and everything-but I wouldn't ever want to be like him. He's too responsible.

I got back into the room and gave them money and a gun, and Pony some warm clothes. I started to tell them where to go and what to do. I then walked with them back to the front of the house. I ruffled Johnny's hair and hoped he would be alright. Nothing could happen to him. "Take care, kid," I told him gently. Then I watched them run off into the night. "Please, be okay," I whispered after them. I walked slowly back to my room to tried to sleep, again. But I wouldn't be sleeping that night; I would be worrying about Johnny.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Thanks so much for that amazing review on my last chapter! I really helped, and you're right, I was sticking too much to the book. I'm going to try to get away from that a little bit, while sticking to the same story-line. I tried to do that with this chapter, and I added some Johnny and Dally moments in the flashbacks. What do you think? Review and let me know please! I'm definitely going to write about the stuff that happened back in town while Johnny and Pony are at the church, from Dally's POV. I want to do his meeting with Cherry, and definitely the scene where Soda comes to give him the note for Ponyboy. I'll be updating again soon.**


	3. Chapter 3 A Week Away

Chapter Five - A Week Away

**Dally's POV**

Things are going crazy here without Johnny and Ponyboy around. Darry and Sodapop hardly talk; if they do they end up crying. Two-Bit isn't joking around like he usually does, and he drinks even more than he used to. I haven't seen Steve in a while; I don't really know where he went. I'm the only one around here acting normal. I don't feel normal though.

I know I can't go visit them yet, it'll look too suspicious. I want to though. I can't help but wonder if they got caught yet. Maybe the fuzz found them and locked them up somewhere. I shivered at the image of Johnny behind bars. No. They couldn't have been caught. They're probably up in that church smoking and playing cards or something. It would be in the newspaper if they were found, right? Yeah, they're fine.

I was in my room at Bucks, just lying around. The fuzz dragged me in there for questioning the other day. I told them the boys were headed for Texas. Hah! The stupid cops believed me too. They really should know by now not to believe a word I tell them. A knock at my door shook me out of my thoughts. It wasn't Buck, he doesn't knock.

"What?" I yelled through the door. It opened slowly and Soda came in. It was weird to see him so quiet and slow.

"I know you know where they are, Dal," he said, without emotion. I gave him my best confused look.

"Soda, I have no idea what you're talking about," I said, but he wasn't convinced.

"Oh, come on Dally! You are the only one acting like nothing happened. You're so cool about all of this. I know, I know, you're cool all the time, but this is different. This is Johnny, Dal! I could believe you if it were anyone else, but not Johnny."

"Soda, I been around stuff like this before. Happened all the time back in New York. I don't know nothin', I'm just used to this sort of thing," I lied on the spot. He nodded a little bit, he seemed to believe me. He turned to leave, but stopped suddenly. He ran across the room and grabbed some old sweater off the ground.

"Bull-shit!" He yelled and it startled me. Soda almost never yells. He flung the sweater at me, "What the hell is this, then?" He asked, still yelling. I looked at the sweater. Shit. It was Ponyboys. I felt my poker-face falter a little bit, but quickly composed myself. Soda couldn't know where they were. That family was a wreck already, they didn't need Soda doing something drastic and getting Pony arrested. Not to mention, Johnny would get the electric chair.

"Soda, I really don't know where they are," I said, clueless. I really couldn't think of a better lie than that?

"Damn it! Dally, yes you do!" He screamed, then stormed over and grabbed me by the front of my shirt. "Tell me where, Dally! He's my brother, you have to tell me!" I yanked him off me and threw him backwards. He hit the wall and his eyes shut tight at the impact.

"No, I don't," I said strongly, then lay back down on my bed. He watched me for a little while, I could feel him staring at me. After a couple minutes he stood up straight and walked over to me. He pulled something out of his back pocket and dropped it on my chest.

"Give this to Ponyboy," he told me, and his voice was weak. I would have told him again that I didn't know where they were, if it wasn't for his voice. He sounded broken, so I just nodded in reply. There was nothing else I could do. He turned and left my room, taking Ponyboys sweater with him.

I lay back down and tried to sleep, but, once again, it wouldn't come. Every time I closed my eyes I saw Johnny. I saw him terrified with those big black eyes, saw him beaten and broken. I could see him that night after the socs got him.

_Flashback_

_I could see the gang gathered in the distance, but something was wrong. Something was horribly wrong. I suddenly broke into a sprint towards them. I got closer and realized they were crowded around something. I pushed past Steve and saw him._

_Johnny lay on the ground, Soda holding him. He looked so bad, so so bad. Worse than I had ever seen him. His face was bleeding and bruised everywhere. Then he started sobbing. It was the worst noise I had ever heard in my entire life. His tiny frame was shaking, he was crying so hard. He gasped out things to Soda, but I couldn't hear him._

_I wanted to be sick. Those damn socs would pay! How could they do that to him? Beat up little Johnny like that. I wished I had been there, wished I could've taken care of him. I would've beaten them up so badly. But I wasn't there. And look what happened to him. I wanted to scream! Rage was burning inside of me, hatred filled me. Why did it have to be Johnny? Why couldn't they have come after me?_

_Soda took Johnny in his arms and we took him back to the Curtis'. He laid him on the couch and Darry started to fix him up. Johnny had stopped crying, but he wasn't any better. I stayed back in the corner and watched as Darry cleaned him up and Soda held his hand. This couldn't really be happening, not to Johnny. But it was, no matter how hard I wished it wasn't. There was nothing I could do, it had happened and I wasn't there for him._

_We all stayed there longer than usual, but eventually Two-Bit and Steve went home and Darry told Pony and Soda to go to bed. They did as they were told and left the room, after saying goodnight to Johnny and I. Darry stood up from his chair, I was sitting on the opposite side of the room from Johnny. Darry turned and looked at me._

"_You staying here tonight?" He asked me gently. I nodded. He went and grabbed me a blanket then threw it my way. I caught it and stood up to lie down in the middle of the floor. He stopped me before I walked past him though. I looked at him curiously. "It's not your fault, Dallas. There was nothing you could've done." He said quietly enough that Johnny couldn't hear. I wondered how he had known what I was thinking._

_His words left me speechless. I wanted to thank him-but I know that would never happen, it would blow his mind to hear a 'thanks' from Dallas Winston. I wanted to tell him to shut up at the same time. I didn't know what to do. I knew that, even though his words were comforting, I didn't believe him. I could've been there. I could've stopped it from happening. I should've. Darry had gone to bed, I was still standing in the middle of the room thinking._

_I walked slowly over to where Johnny lay. He was asleep now, relaxed. I kneeled beside him and gently pushed the hair out of his now-swollen face. "I'm sorry," I whispered so quietly I could hardly even hear it myself._

"_Why?" I heard Johnny ask softly. I clenched my teeth at the sound of his small voice. He sounded so weak. I didn't want to answer him. It was so much easier to just be tough, just not care. But it was Johnny. His eyes opened a slit, but he couldn't get them any wider because they were so swollen._

"_I wasn't there," I answered quietly, using the soft voice I would only ever let Johnny hear. When it came to personal topics, deep conversations, I would never say anything. Unless it was to Johnny. He wouldn't judge me, or laugh, or doubt me. He was different. I felt him reach out and squeeze my hand in response. I jumped a little, not expecting it._

"_It ain't your fault," he told me, letting go of my hand. I nodded just so he would rest well, and he closed his eyes. I tried to make myself comfortable, but I wasn't. He didn't blame me. Darry didn't blame me. No one blamed me. Except me. I blamed myself. I let him down, no matter what anyone says, it was my fault._

_End Flashback

* * *

_

**Johnny's POV**

When I woke up, Ponyboy was still asleep. I decided not to take him with me when I went shopping. That way, if the story was out already, he wouldn't get caught. I left him a note though, so he wouldn't be worried.

I walked down the street, hopefully in the direction of a store. The country sure was nice, like Pony described it. I remembered last night, wishing I would get to go to the country one day. I didn't think this would be the reason I would get here.

I looked around. Everything was so colourful. Green grass and trees. Yellow fields of crops. Red barns. Bright blue sky. Tulsa was always dull. Grey and brown and colourless. I don't know if it was the side of town I lived on or the type of life I lived, but nothing looked bright. Even the air here seemed better, cleaner. It was refreshing.

I got a whole bunch of things, spent all the money. When I got back I told Ponyboy we would have to disguise ourselves. He wasn't happy about that, but I wasn't either. He would have to bleach his hair too, just to be safe. We both looked ridiculous when we were done. His hair was almost as white as Dally's.

We sat inside the church talking. Things were so messed up. I had killed someone, and we were hiding from the cops in some church Dally sent us to. Never, in a million years, would I have pictured myself in this situation.

Ponyboy started to reminisce about home. He was going on about how Two-Bit was wisecracking last night, about that Cherry girl we met and about laying in the lot, looking at the stars. I snapped at him. Last night, I killed someone. Last night, I changed our lives forever and I could never go back! I was crying and blubbering out different things. I was scared, so scared. What if we never see the gang again? What if we can never go back? I kept seeing that kid bleeding out.

I heard Ponyboy crying while he held me and stopped my sobs. I was freaking him out. He didn't need this. I stood up and started pacing. He was still crying, I could see him trying to stop it, but he couldn't.

"This is my fault." I said, indicating to him. He should go home to Sodapop and Darry. They loved him. He didn't do anything wrong. It was me, I stabbed him, and I killed him. He should go back.

"I'll stop crying in a minute," he choked out, trying to sound brave. I sat back down next to him and comforted him. He cried in my arms until he fell asleep. Once he was sleeping, his voice was coming out in short little gasps like little kids do after crying for too long. He eventually woke up again and asked if we were going to be okay.

"Yeah, we'll be alright, we're all cried out now. We're going to be okay," I told him, still holding him. I felt him relax at my words and he fell back asleep quickly. He may only be two years younger, but I was the older one here, and I had to watch out for him. He was just as confused and frightened as me, but without the years of experience in confusion and fear. So I held him tighter and hoped we would get out of this.

If it weren't for the reason we were there, I would've liked being in the church with Pony. It was relaxing, unlike life back in Tulsa. We played cards a lot, and smoked. Ponyboy read _Gone with the Wind_ to me. That was a tuff book. I told him once that those southern gentlemen reminded me of Dally, and he looked at me like I was crazy.

"Soda's more like them Southern boys," he told me, matter-of-factly. He is, in the manners and charm bit. But Dally was gallant. I tried to think of an example for Pony. I told him about Dally taking the charge for breaking the school windows, even though he knew it was Two-Bit that did it, and Pony seemed to get it. I liked that about Pony, you didn't have to explain yourself a lot because he understood things easily.

One morning, Pony woke up earlier than me. I panicked at first, wondering where he was, but soon saw him outside. I walked up next to him, and was going to say something, when I realized what he was looking at. The sun was just coming up. It was real pretty too. I had never seen anything so pretty. It wanted it to stay like that forever. It made me feel light, and warm. I didn't realize I was smiling until the sun rose all the way and the sight was gone. Then I felt my face fall. I startled Pony when I spoke, he sighed happily and looked back to where the sunrise had disappeared.

"Too bad it can't stay like that all the time," I said. I could tell his mind was somewhere else though when he replied.

"_Nature's first green is gold,  
Her hardest hue to hold.  
Her early leaf's a flower,  
But only so an hour.  
Then leaf subsides to leaf.  
So Eden sank to grief,  
So dawn goes down to day.  
Nothing gold can stay."_

I didn't say anything for a little while, I let the words sink in. They didn't really make sense to me, but it sounded so nice that every line repeated itself in my head. I liked it a lot. Ponyboy sure was different from the rest of us greasers. He would go somewhere someday, make something of himself.

* * *

**Dally's POV**

_Flashback_

_I was ten. Ten years old. So young, so scared. I was terrified of everyone who came near me. I could fight well, but I didn't want to, and I didn't have a chance against some of these older kids. I was in here for joyriding. Yeah, I'm ten and I stole a car. It wasn't really me, it was my 'friend.' Terry Jackson, just another hood from New York. I was in jail at age ten all because of him._

_I stayed to myself trying to stay out of everybody's way. Guys snapped at nothing in here. We were outside, I was just sitting there minding my own business when some guy came over to me. He was a little older, and really big. He cornered me and started cussing me out. I don't know what I did to him, I just wanted him to leave me alone. He said I reminded him of someone. I just kept my mouth shut and looked around nervously for a way to escape. There was none though._

_I tried to dodge under his arm, but he grabbed me and dragged me back out in front of him. Then he hit me in the face. It hurt, real bad. Physically, it wasn't any worst than what my father has done before. But it was different here because I didn't know how far he would go. My dad wouldn't kill me because he knew he would go to jail. But this guy was already in jail. I was terrified. I tried to fight back, I got one hit in, that's it. _

_He beat me senseless. I could hardly move. I thought I might be dead. Can you feel pain when you're dead? I hoped not, but I could feel a lot of pain now. No one noticed me, no one came to my rescue. No one cared. I lay on the pavement for a long time. Finally, I gathered my strength and pushed myself up off the ground. I hobbled into the prison and went to my cell._

_The guard seemed shocked when he saw my face the next morning, but he didn't ask about it. He didn't even offer me a painkiller or bandage or anything. He didn't care about me, no one cared about me._

_That was the day I decided I didn't need anyone to care about me. I would take care of myself. I didn't need anybody, and they didn't need me. If no one would care about me, I wouldn't care about anyone either. That was the day I turned hard. That was the day I lost the part of me that felt things, the part of me that cared, the part of me that mattered. _

_End Flashback_

Another party downstairs. Another night wishing I could go see Johnny already. But it was still too early to go. I lay looking up at the ceiling. I tried not to remember being a kid. Crying when my dad hit me, wishing he would love me. Being scared. I was never scared anymore, not of anything. I had grown to be strong, but Johnny had done the opposite. While I got through it all by blocking things out, cutting out feelings, Johnny hardly got through it at all by caring about everything. Maybe that's why he was so important to me. He was _me_, as a kid. He was the part of me I left behind in that prison cell so many years ago. He was the only person in the world who actually made me feel again.

A loud knocking on my door brought my attention back to reality. The person didn't wait for me to answer them, they came stumbling in laughing. I glared at her. I knew what she wanted.

"Dally! Hi, baby," she slurred. I lie back down on my bed and she came and sat on top of me. Her shirt didn't cover enough, and her skirt was short-as always. She bent down and kissed me, and I let her. She giggled a bit, running her hands over me. I grabbed her and flipped us over, then started kissing her fiercely. At least she would take my mind off things for a while.

She lay sleeping beside me. She looked different asleep. Calm. There was too much make-up on her face, as usual. She looked relaxed, but I knew she was just as messed up as any of us. She was just another poor kid stuck in this messed up, rich man's world. Just another hood trying to survive. I fell asleep for the first time in a couple nights, out of exhaustion more than anything.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Thank you for the great review! It made me smile. I had to include the poem in this one, because I'm going to use it later, when Johnny's in the hospital. Review people! Please, I love to hear your feedback, so review. I'll update again soon.**


	4. Chapter 4 A Flaming Church

Chapter Six - A Flaming Church

**Dally's POV**

I finally got the chance to go see them. I waited as long as I could, but eventually I thought I was going to lose my mind if I didn't go check on Johnny soon. I took them out for something to eat. Man, those kids were starving. They both crammed so much food into their mouths I thought they were going to choke. I looked around me at where they had been living. This place was out of it. There was nothing anywhere, except grass and trees. If it was me who had to stay here I would've died of boredom. I looked in the backseat at Ponyboy as he stuffed his mouth. He looked ridiculous with blond hair, like a human Barbie doll or something. I commented on how it was smart of them to change their hair like that, so they wouldn't be recognized.

"We're goin' back and turning ourselves in," Johnny announced, out of nowhere. I coughed up my food and swore. What did he mean they were turning themselves in? No. I wouldn't allow it. Johnny could not go to jail. Johnny was going on about how he could get off easy, self-defense and all. I wouldn't listen though, he couldn't go back. I saw the image of him behind bars again in my head. Johnny wouldn't survive jail, or worse... he might survive it and end up like me. I couldn't let that happen, not to Johnny.

I looked at his innocent little face and almost screamed at him to not go back. "I don't guess..." he paused, and I could see the hope in his eyes, "I don't guess my parents are worried about me or anything?"

"The boys are worried," I said, purposefully avoiding the question. I remembered caring what my dad though of me, I remember hoping, one day, he would love me. I clenched my teeth at the memory. Johnny asked me again about his parents, and my own hopelessness flooded back to my mind once again. I snapped at him.

"No! What do they matter anyways, Johnny? My old man don't give a hang about me and that don't bother me none!" I said harshly. It was true. I didn't care what my dad felt towards me. Not anymore. But I remember caring, I remember being like Johnny. I was scowling and gripping the steering wheel tighter than necessary. I hated how Johnny's parents treated him, I hated how they made him feel. I hated knowing how bad he hurt because of them. Then I glanced at him.

He looked so sad, so hurt. I hadn't realized me snapping at him would hurt him so much. Yelling at people is just a reflex for me when I get pissed. I sighed and calmed down. Seeing Johnny with that look on his face because of me made me calm down. I wasn't angry anymore. I felt... guilty.

"Johnny," I said, in the soft tone I only ever let him hear. "Johnny, I aint mad at you. I just don't want to see you get hurt. You don't know what a few months in jail can do to you. You get hardened in jail..." I paused. I could feel Ponyboy's surprise at my words in the backseat. He would never expect to hear something like that come from me. I tried to decide if I should add more to what I was telling Johnny. I already looked soft enough. I decided I didn't care if I sounded soft, Johnny was what mattered now, and he had to know that he can't go to jail. "...I don't want to see that happen to you. Like it happened to me."

Johnny turned and asked me seriously if I would rather have him living on the run. Yes. Yes, I could go on the run with him. We could send Ponyboy back, and he would only get a couple years in jail, tops. With it being self-defense and him being only an accessory to murder, he would be fine. I had no reason to stay in Tulsa, the gang would be fine without me. Johnny and I already live wherever we can and make money or get food whenever it's available. We could do all that while traveling. I could take care of him, and both of us would be much better off away from our parents. I didn't get a chance to tell him that though, because when we got to the church, it was blazing with fire.

Ponyboy, the genius that he is, decided to go see what the deal was. I yelled at him to get back in the car but the stupid kid ignored me. Johnny decided to follow him. I cussed at them to get back in the car. Who cares if some old church was on fire? I watched as they tried to talk to some old guy. Then, in the distance, I heard little kids screaming. Without warning, Ponyboy took off for the church. "Hey!" I screamed, hopping out of the car, "What the hell are you doing?" I yelled after him, but he ignored me again. Then I saw Johnny take off after him. No, no, no. "Johnny no!" I screamed as loud as I could, breaking into a sprint towards them. I was too late though, they had already gone in. I would've went in after them, but after looking in the window, I couldn't see them. I ran around to the back of the church, where I could hear those damn kids still screaming.

I could hear the crackling of the wood. The smoke burned my eyes and nose, even from outside. Then I saw Ponyboy in one of the windows. I screamed at him to get out of there. The place was going to crash down at any minute. Finally, Ponyboy came stumbling out. His back was on fire! I swore and hit his back trying to put it out, I succeeded but he fell to the ground unconscious. Shit! I killed him! I was about to see if he was alright when I heard Johnny scream from inside the church, then the loud cracking noise of wood breaking. I ignored Pony's possibly dead body and jumped through the back window of the Church.

I couldn't see anything, smoke was everywhere. I tried to breathe through it, but couldn't. I thought I was going to pass out from lack of oxygen, but I thought of Johnny and forced myself to keep moving. I couldn't find him anywhere. I felt like I was wandering around in a volcano. "Johnny?" I shouted, but got no reply. "Johnny? Johnny?" I was screaming frantically for him. Then, from behind me, I heard the weakest voice call out my name. I wheeled around and ran to where it came from. I could see him, he was stuck under a large piece of flaming wood. I ran over to him and tried to move it, it wouldn't budge.

"Johnny. Johnny, It's okay, I'm going to get you out of here. Just keep breathing Johnny. Keep breathing." I told him, panicking. I had to get him out. I put my arm under the wood that was pinning him down. I felt the fire burning the flesh of my arm, but ignored the screaming pain. I pulled up with all my strength. The wood moved. I threw it off of him and knelt down by his side. His eyes were closed and he wasn't moving, but I didn't stop to examine him. He couldn't be dead, he wasn't dead. I lifted him over my shoulders and carried him out of the church. Once I was out I fell to my knees on the soft grass. I started to put Johnny down, but he was yanked from my grasp.

I jumped back up to my feet and fought the darkness that clouded my sight. "Johnny!" I screamed. Who took him? A man came up to me and grabbed my arm.

"Come with me, your in shock, you need to get to a hospital," he told me urgently. I yanked my arm back and when he went to grab me again I hit him in the face.

"Where's Johnny?" I shouted at him. He was holding his bleeding nose. He looked seriously frightened as he gestured to my right. I turned and saw a bunch of men putting Johnny into an ambulance. He was already on a stretcher. I ran over to them. I felt weak and could tell my running was slow, but I got there before they closed the ambulance doors. I grabbed a man before he shut the door in my face. I pulled him closer to me, and I could tell he was scared. "Do. Not. Let. Him. Die." I said as fiercely as I could manage. The man swallowed and nodded. I let him go and watched as the door closed and they drove away.

I suddenly felt so tired. I fell to the ground and sat for a while. A man came up to me hesitantly and asked as nicely as he could for me to come with him. I slowly nodded and stood up. Some guys tried to help me into an ambulance, but I swatted them away and got in myself. They hooked me up to some machine and it helped me breathe.

We got to the hospital and they wheeled me into a room. I passed Ponyboy on my way in. He was sitting there, covered in ashes, looking real worried when I came by. I cussed at him for doing what he did. If he would've just stayed in the car we would all be okay right now. Johnny would be okay right now. I kept asking people how he was. No one would answer me though. I asked everyone who came near me about Johnny, but no one would reply. He isn't dead is he? No. He isn't. He can't be. I would know if he were dead. He isn't dead.

* * *

**Johnny's POV**

I pushed Ponyboy towards the window and yelled at him to get out. He had to get out. I would hate myself if he got hurt in here. It was my fault he was here, my fault he wasn't home with his brothers right now. I started to follow him, but heard a loud cracking noise. I felt pressure on my back and was pushed to the ground. It didn't hurt too much, I actually didn't feel much after the first impact. Except heat. I couldn't see. Everything was dark, and everything was hot. Was I in hell? Maybe. I did kill a kid then burn down a church. It felt like hell.

Then I heard my name being called. I heard it again and recognized the voice. Dally. Was he in hell too? I wouldn't be surprised. But, he wasn't dead, was he? I heard him shout for me again, clearer this time, and tried to yell back. My throat was dry though, no noise came out. "Dally," I finally managed to croak. I didn't think he would hear me. I could hardly hear me over the screaming flames. Wait, flames? I was still in the church. I was still alive!

I felt the pressure on top of me shift, sending pain through me. Dally was comforting me, I could hear him saying my name, telling me he would get me out. I squeezed my eyes shut and felt relived. Dally was here. Dally would take care of me. Then I felt the pressure lifted from me and gasped as I passed out.

When I came to I was in the hospital. I hated hospitals. People in white and light blue clothing were swarming around the little room I was in. I tried to talk, but couldn't make my mouth move. I tried again. "Dally?" I asked, but no one acknowledged me. I shut my eyes and opened them again. "Dally?" I asked a little louder. A man to the left of me turned and looked down at me.

"Doctor! He's awake! Just relax, kid, we're going to take care of you," he told me. I didn't care about that. Was Dally okay? I saw Pony get out, he was alright. But what happened to Dally?

"Dally?" I asked again, my voice cracking. I really needed some water.

"Don't worry, your friends are fine," the man said. Then I relaxed and gave into darkness once more.

* * *

Author's Note:

Another chapter up! Sorry I couldn't update yesterday, I have a hockey tournament so I needed sleep. Thank you to my reviewers (all two of you, ahahha) I love your input. I'm really glad you are enjoying the story. I know you want me to get away from quoting the book and stuff, and I will. Next chapter will have flashbacks again, but I couldn't get any into this chapter. I will not, however, change the storyline of the book. I'm glad you reviewed, and I did consider it, but I have decided that this story is basically a re-telling of the book but from Johnny and Dally. That is what I intended it to be. You know how a lot of people will write Dally's thoughts before he killed himself or Johnny's thoughts on killing a soc? Well that's where I got the idea to write this, because I wanted to write that as well as other parts. I'm sorry if you wanted something different to happen, but I don't really want to change the storyline of the book because S.E Hinton did such a good job with it and I don't know how I would write it any differently. I am very thankful for your reviews though. I love hearing what you think of it and I love your criticism too because it really makes me think. Please keep the reviews coming, it really just makes my day to sign on and realize I have more reviews. I promise to update again soon.


	5. Chapter 5 The Hospital

Chapter Seven - The Hospital

**Dally's POV**

I woke up in a hospital bed. My arm was wrapped up, it was burned pretty badly, but that doesn't matter. No one would let me see Johnny. I had finally gotten some information out of the doctor by threatening him. He told me Johnny's in critical condition and still in shock. He wouldn't tell me anything else though. I'm about to go crazy sitting in this little room waiting to know if he's alright. He has to be alright, he just has to.

It was dark, and the hospital had quieted down. I peaked out my door and there were only a couple of people in the hallway. I went back into my room and slid into my jeans, then I put on my shirt and unwrapped my arm. I couldn't wait around here anymore, I had to go see him. I walked by everyone, and kept my head down to avoid being noticed. Finally, I made it out of the hospital without anyone catching me. I waited outside for a few minutes. I really hoped this worked, I had to see him. I had to know he was alright. I walked back into the hospital and hid my arm behind me. I walked up to the desk and asked for Johnny Cade. The woman behind the counter asked me a couple questions, all of which I answered with a lie. If I had given her my real name she might recognize it. Finally, she told me what floor he was on, but would not tell me what room because he was not supposed to have any visitors. Like I care.

I went up to his floor and looked around. It was much busier here. People were rushing around and carrying different medical things, pushing beeping carts. I ignored it all and walked around peeking into rooms when no one was looking. No one noticed me, they were all to busy. If I stayed out of their way, they didn't care who I was. After peeking into what seemed like a million rooms, and seeing some pretty messy things, I found Johnny's room. I slid in silently and closed the door behind me. It shut with a tiny 'click' noise, then everything was silent. The room was so quiet compared to the hallway outside. The only noise was a beeping from beside Johnny, along with the gentle sound of his breathing. I felt as though when I closed the door behind me, I shut out the entire world with it. It was just me and Johnny now, that's all that existed.

He looked bad, really bad. There were a bunch of tubes hooked up to his arms and machines all around him. Almost all of his body was wrapped up. His face was normal though, and I sighed with relief at that. I walked over to the side of the room and picked up the chair that was there. I moved it over so it was right beside Johnny's bed, and sat down. I watched him as he slept. He looked so peaceful, even in this condition. I started to think about him, about the times we spent together, the moments that only he and I had. He had to get through this, get better. He had to be okay.

_Flashback_

_I was walking down the street with Two-Bit. He was a pretty good guy, genuine. I had just moved to Tulsa a month ago. I was twelve years old. After I got out of jail, my father told me we were moving to Tulsa. I didn't like the idea, but didn't protest, I would either be going with him or left behind. I considered staying, but decided the cops might find me eventually and send me to some home or something. I had met a few people in Tulsa, Tim Shepard and Two-Bit were the first people to start hanging around me. Two-Bit had introduced me to some of his buddies, they seemed like good people to me._

_People seemed kind of soft here. Tim Shepard was tough, and the rest of the guys put on a tough facade, but it was nothing like New York. Things were easier here. If I wanted something, I could get it easily by beating the tar out of someone. If a person upset me, it was easy to knock them out so they knew not to do what they did again. I learned to fight real well in New York, and not to put up with anyone's crap unless you wanted to get walked all over. I quickly gained a reputation for myself here in Tulsa. Thanks to my time in jail, I never felt bad about anything either. _

_I was hanging around with Two-Bit, when we came to the empty lot. I noticed a small boy sitting by a tree, smoking, but didn't pay him any attention until Two-Bit lead us over there. I watched as Two-Bit took a seat next to him and messed up his hair. "You doin' alright, Johnny?" He asked the boy. Man, the kid looked rough. He had a nasty bruise on the side of his face and a cut at the top of his forehead. He was really small, dark complexion, dark hair. he looked real sad, he stared at the ground and only nodded at Two-Bit's question. I could see Two-Bit's hesitation, then he smiled at the kid._

_"Hey, Johnny, you're the only one in the gang that hasn't met Dallas yet," he said, changing the subject, Johnny looked up at me. When I saw the look in his eyes, I knew where he got the bruise from. I had seen that look to many times on my own face. I had felt the pain he was showing in his dark eyes. I clenched my jaw and felt the anger rise in me and the thought of abuse. Then something changed. He looked frightened, like he was expecting another beating. I quickly realized it was because of me. I forced myself to look a little more calm._

_"Hi, Johnny," I said emotionless. He said hello back and the three of us hung out for a while. I kept glancing at Johnny, wondering if that sort of thing happened often to him. If his dad does it or his mom, or a step-parent. Eventually, we decided to go to the Curtis' house. I liked it there, it felt kind of... normal. They were nice people, and I wasn't used to that sort of thing. I was getting more comfortable around the gang though, starting to understand them more. Mr. and Mrs. Curtis were really good to me. They were good to everyone in the gang, actually. The way they treated them, you would think they were all their kids, instead of just three._

_I lay in bed that night, thinking about that Johnny kid I had met. Since I got out of jail, things have been different. I don't care who's feelings I hurt. I don't care about the people around me. I started fighting back when my dad hit me. I started being tough. How come, when I saw Johnny, I cared so much about him? Why did I want to know who was beating him, and how often they did it? Why did it matter to me? I didn't like it, any of it. I didn't like that Johnny gets beat, and I didn't like that I cared. Things had gotten so much easier in my life since I decided nothing matters. I could take getting beat by my dad because he doesn't matter. I could take the insults and hits because it doesn't mean anything to me. I hoped I wasn't going soft again. If this Johnny kid makes me soft again, I'll kill him. But as soon as that thought entered my mind I realized something. I wouldn't kill him, I wouldn't hurt him. Even if he wreaked to tough hood I had become and made me soft again, I knew I wouldn't lay a hand on him. Something about him made me shutter just at the thought of it. I wouldn't hurt him, I couldn't._

_End Flashback_

* * *

**Johnny's POV**

I felt myself regaining consciousness, and as soon as I did I felt the pain surge through me. It didn't go all the way through me though, it stopped at my lower back. That can't be good. I gasped as another wave of pain hit me, and I heard someone gasp as well beside me. I opened my eyes the see Dally, sitting in the chair, staring at me with concerned eyes. I tried to smile at him, but it didn't work very well.

"You alright, Johnnycake?" He asked me in a whispering voice. I swallowed the pain and looked at him.

"Yeah, I'm alright, I don't always hurt too badly," I lied. He seemed to buy it though because he relaxed in his seat. "How long you been here?" I asked him.

"I don't know, I kind of zoned out, um... couple hours maybe," he told me, "I had to sneak out of my room to come see you, you know them nurses weren't going to let me, but I came anyways," he explained to me. I smiled at him. Dally broke out of his hospital room to come see me. We sat quietly for a little while.

"Dal," I said, after a long silence, "thank you. You know, for saving me and everything," I told him. I didn't want to get all mushy and soft on him. Dally hated that, he hated feelings in general.

"Don't worry about it, Johnnycake." He paused, "Johnny," his voice shook a little, "you're going to... uh... live, right?" It was the last question either of us wanted to ask, the scariest question either of us could ask. But Dally wasn't scared of anything. I looked at him, and doubted my last thought. He looked scared now. He looked more than scared. He looked terrified.

"I don't really know, Dal," I said quietly. I wished I could say yes. I wished I could make him relax, but I couldn't. It scared me too. I didn't want to die, but I could think about that later. Right now, my biggest worry was the look on Dally's face. What could I say to calm him down? How could I make that look go away? I can't. "I'll try." It was all I could do. Try to live. It seems like the dumbest thing to ask someone to do. Try to live.

"You... you can't. Johnny, you can't..." he trailed off. He couldn't say it, I wouldn't say it either.

"Okay, Dal," I tried to comfort him. It was odd to see him look so weak, so hurt. We sat quietly for a little while, just lost in our own thoughts, enjoying each others company. I was glad he was here, glad he came to see me. I wanted to see him, and Ponyboy, and the rest of the gang. The doctor told me I needed rest, but I didn't want it. I wanted the gang. After a little while I decided to break the silence.

"What were you thinking about?" I asked him.

"When?"

"While I was asleep. What were you thinking about that made you lose track of time for two hours?"

"Oh," he said, "I was thinking about when we first met." I laughed a little bit. I remembered that day clearly. He looked at me questioningly.

"I remember. I was so scared of you," I told him honestly. I chuckled again at the memory. He scared me so badly when I first saw him. He was all tensed up and angry looking.

"Oh," he said quietly. I looked over at him.

"It's alright, Dal. You don't scare me anymore, you're just really intimidating when people first meet you," I told him, and he smiled a little bit. That was a compliment to him. Then I thought about something. When I first saw him, he looked intimidating, but not scary. It wasn't until a couple seconds after looking at me that his eyes started blazing and he tensed up like he was going to hit something. I remember thinking he was going to hit me. Thinking I had done something wrong and he hated me for it. "Dal, why did you tense up like that when you met me?" I asked him. He sat back in his chair and looked at me. He didn't want to answer, I had seen that look many times. The look on his face that said the question was too personal, and he didn't want to give an answer. I also knew he would answer anyways, just because it was me. If anyone else asked him something he didn't want to answer, he wouldn't. But, for me, he always did.

"I knew where you got the bruise. I knew a lot about abuse and knew that bruise wasn't from a fight. It..." he stopped himself and looked away. Hesitantly, he looked back at me again. "I didn't like seeing it, that's all." He explained. I nodded in response. He never liked seeing me hurt.

_Flashback_

_I ran as quickly as I could away from the house. Another day, another beating. This one was worse though. There were insults, really bad insults. I hated that more than being hit. I could take being hit, but not being hated. I eventually found myself back at the empty lot. I always ended up there. I smoked, trying to calm myself, and sat up against a tree. It was dark out, and I looked around and saw no one. So, with the coast clear, and the darkness to hide me, I let the tears fall. I was only eleven, so I hadn't mastered the art of holding back my emotions. I put out my smoke and pulled my knees up to my chest. I held myself together and sobbed. _

_"Johnny?" I heard someone question. I ignored it and trying to quiet down so I wouldn't be noticed. It didn't work very well though. "Johnny? Is that you?" He came up to me and looked down at me in the darkness. Then he pushed my bangs back out of my face, as he so often liked to do, and sat down beside me. I tried to control myself, to make the tears stop, to quiet down, but I couldn't. He didn't laugh at me though, as I thought he would. He didn't mock me or pity me. He just stayed with me._

_I looked over at him. He was watching me. I could tell he didn't know what to do. Comforting people was something Sodapop or Darry was good at, not Dally. I rubbed away the tears on my cheeks, but more came anyways. At that, Dally reached over and pushed my bangs out of my face again. It wasn't much, but it comforted me. I didn't expect any more from Dally, he didn't usually do this sort of thing. I slowed down my crying and eventually made it stop. I took in a shaky breath and let go of my legs. I lay back against the tree and Dally did the same beside me._

_"You alright?" He asked after a long silence. I nodded._

_"Yeah, it's just hard sometimes. I don't mind the beatings that much, I can take that. It's just... when they start yelling at me. When they tell me they hate me, it hurts." I told him and my voice cracked. I was surprised to be telling him so much. I had only known him for a couple years, and he was the exact opposite of me. Yet, I felt like I could tell him things like this. He sighed and looked at me._

_"I hate them, Johnny, your parents. I hate them." He told me, and his words were so strong they stunned me._

_"Why?" I asked. I knew why, I knew it was bad that they hit me. What I really meant was why did he feel so strongly about it?_

_"They hurt you." He said, simply. But there was more. I looked at him for an explanation, and he reluctantly decided to start talking again. "I've been where you are. It aint pretty. I don't like it. It shouldn't be happening to you." He told me. I was surprised by that. I didn't know Dally was abused. He didn't talk very much about himself._

_"Oh," I said quietly. I already kind of looked up to him. I already wished I could be a tough as he is. But after learning that, I admired him even more. He was beat by his parents and he was still so strong. I used to think he was tough, now I knew he was more than that. He could take anything. I wished I was like that._

_"Why do you take it Johnny? Huh? Why do you let them treat you like that?" He asked suddenly, breaking me from my thoughts. His voice was full of emotion._

_"I... There's nothing I can do," I told him._

_"You could fight back! You could not let them get to you! Johnny, you don't deserve that! Why do you take it?" He told me. I looked at him._

_"I wish I could, Dally. I wish I were like you. I wish I didn't care. I wish I didn't love them, even though they hate me. But I can't fight back, because I could never hurt either of them no matter what they do to me. They will always get to me because I do care what they think. I'm not tough enough to not care." I explained. With every word I started to understand my own situation better. I was stuck in a life that I couldn't escape. I loved my parents and they hated me, and I could never escape that, not until I died. We sat quietly for a long time. The words settled and burned into our minds. _

_"You don't want to be like me," Dally mumbled, breaking the silence. I looked over at him._

_"Yes, I do." I told him._

_"Well, you shouldn't." He said. I was about to ask why when he stood up abruptly. I stood up after him. "Come on, I'll walk to the Curtis' with you," he told me, ending our conversation. I didn't bring it up again, I could tell he didn't want to talk about it, but I wondered about it a lot._

_End Flashback_

The doctor came in to give me some painkillers and saw Dally. He recognized him and forced him to leave. Dally cussed him out and got all angry, but the doctor eventually made him leave. He said he would be back soon though, to visit me again.

The painkillers were great. I could hardly feel anything after he gave them to me. I quickly fell asleep.

In my dream, I couldn't see. Everything was white, everywhere. Then, suddenly, I saw Dally's face squeezed into the most horrible, painful expression I had ever seen. I tried to reach out to him, to help him, but he was gone. In his place there was blood. Blood everywhere. Nothing was white anymore, it was all red with blood. I screamed but it came out as a whisper. Then, things were normal. I was in an alleyway somewhere, I didn't think it was Tulsa. I was just walking along, doing nothing, when I heard people following me. I turned to see three guys, all looked about sixteen to eighteen, and really tall. No, wait. They weren't tall, I was small. I must have been really young. They started to say things, but I couldn't make out the words. I heard a million voices at the same time, some I recognized-Dally's, my dad's, Ponyboy's-some I didn't. They were all saying different things though, so I couldn't make out any of it. I tried to run, but one of the guys grabbed me. Before I knew what was happening, I was getting beat. Pain surged through me as I fell to the wet ground and felt someone kicking me. All I could do was pray that I would live. Then, it stopped. I was shaking, and trying to clean myself up. I was in some shabby little bathroom, looking through the cabinet behind the mirror for some bandages or something. Finally, I found some things and closed the cabinet so I could look in the mirror. I gasped at my reflection. It wasn't my reflection at all! It was a small boy, with a lot of blood, and white hair. It was Dally! I was Dally! Then, I woke up.

I was breathing hard and sweating. Luckily, the painkillers were still working, so I didn't feel too much pain. I suddenly wanted to see Dally. I wanted to make sure he was alright. I knew I couldn't do that though, I couldn't even wiggle my toes. I curse myself for being in this situation. I wished I could just go see him. I couldn't though, so I tried to comfort myself. It was only a dream. Just a dream. But it wasn't. It was more than that, it was Dally's life in New York, it was telling me something. I just couldn't figure out what. I let my mind wander away from it and ended up thinking about how things used to be. Back before Pony's parent died. That's the time when everything got all messed up. That was the turning point in our lives. I still remembered the funeral.

_Flashback_

_Everything looked grey. Everyone in black and everything dark. It was really cloudy, not raining yet, but cloudy. We all stood outside, as the priest said some words. I wasn't listening though. I was thinking about them. I remembered Mr. Curtis teaching Darry football, and even helping to teach some of the rest of the gang some skills too. I remembered him always telling me to stay for dinner, stay overnight, anything to keep me from going back home. I thought about Mrs. Curtis. She was the nicest woman I had ever met. She would take care of everyone in the gang. She would bandage me up after my dad hit me. She made the best food. I remembered her calling me 'Johnnycake.' I loved that, it made me feel loved. She was the only one to ever call me that, made up the name herself one day and just kind of went with it. Those two were better parents to me than my own. _

_Ponyboy and Soda were holding each other and crying in spite of themselves. I saw Darry crying silently too. Steve stood by Soda, he looked ready to scream, watching his best friend cry like that. Two-Bit, for once, was not smiling. He looked sober and depressed. Dally had no expression. He stood stone hard and cold as a rock, not even blinking as he watched them lowered into the ground._

_As we were leaving, I went to talk to him. How could he look normal at a time like this? I was outraged at him. Those two cared about him and looked after him and he can't even show a little sympathy. I know it's Dally, and he doesn't show emotions, but he could frown or something. I went over to him, ready to tell him off, even if he was scary, Mr. and Mrs. Curtis deserved more respect than that._

_"Dally," I called out to him, and he turned towards me. "Don't you care?" I said, a little too loudly. Maybe I was loosing it, I don't know. Maybe I had a death wish. "They're dead and you don't show anything! Nothing! Does this really not matter to you?" Again, I said it too loudly. I hadn't noticed before, but there was still people around. Most ignored us, but I saw Darry come closer. He was the only one from our gang who saw what happened next._

_I was broken by the fact that Dally didn't care about them. They were so good to him, so good to all of us. The fact that he didn't answer when I yelled at him didn't help matters either. I hadn't noticed, but I was crying. The tears streaked down my face as a stared at Dally, demanding an answer. He didn't move for a minute, then he came towards me. He didn't look angry, so I didn't back down. I was still crying as he came to stand right in front of me._

_"Why?" I choked out. Why didn't he care? Why did they have to die? Why did I have to lose the only people who treated me like a son? With a little hesitation, Dally wrapped his arms around me and let me cry on his shoulder. I could tell he felt a little awkward, but I didn't care. It's about time he showed some emotion._

_"It's okay," he tried to comfort me. "It's going to be okay, Johnnycake."_

_At the use of Mrs. Curtis' nickname for me I quieted down a little. It was nice to hear it again, I was begining to think I would never hear it again. It was a comforting term of enderment and it made me feel good. I pulled back away from Dally after a couple minutes, when I had gotten control of myself. I didn't want to make him have to hold me longer than nessicary because I knew he wasn't comfortable doing things like that. I wiped my tears away and smiled a little bit._

_"Thanks, Dal," I told him. He nodded in response and we turned to leave. Darry never brought it up, even though we both knew he saw the whole thing. I didn't either, we didn't want to embarrass Dallas or ruin his rep._

_When we got back Dally started calling me Johnnycake every once in a while. I could tell the gang were surprised at him, but no one dared to say anything, for fear of getting their head bashed in. Darry soon caught on and started calling me that too, and soon enough it was just my nickname. Used whenever someone wanted to comfort me or talk nice to me. It sounded like a wimpy nickname, but I loved it. Because Mrs. Curtis had given it to me, and the people who used it really cared about me._

_End Flashback_

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Thank you for the reveiw! I have to thank Steff Malfoy1 for her help with this chapter as well as her many reviews, hope you like how I did the flashbacks, used a couple of your ideas. You have been so helpful for me in writing this story to it's best extent. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I tried my best to keep Dally from seeming too soft in that last flashback about the funeral. It's really hard to keep him tough when he cares so much about Johnny. I think I did an alright job though, what do you think? As usual, I will be updating again soon!**


	6. Chapter 6 Visiting Hours

Chapter Eight-Visiting Hours

**Dally's POV**

I hate this place. It's boring. The damn nurses keep coming in here to check on me too. I'm fine. I can take care of myself. They don't come by as much as they did when I first got here, but apparently it's 'mandatory' for them to come in here buggin' me every day.

I hate being here, too much time alone with my thoughts. Memories keep coming back to me. I see things from New York, things I have repressed and hoped never to think about again. Things involving gangs, my dad, stabbings, killings. I try to push them away, but I can't. Even when I do get them out of my head, all I can think about is Johnny. Then I let the horrible memories come back because _anything _is better than thinking about Johnny right now.

I visit him a lot, now that I know where his room is. He's getting worse. He tries to hide it, tries to be brave, but I know it's bad. I hear his voice getting weaker every time I go to see him. I know he's really bad off, I just can't accept it. It might just be my imagination, maybe he's actually getting better. I can only hope.

Once again, the memories from my past were getting too vivid, so I decided to go see Johnny again. I peeked my head out the door and made sure the coast was clear before heading up to his floor.

* * *

**Johnny's POV**

I keep having those nightmares. They're getting worse too. I'm almost afraid to go to sleep, because at least the pain I feel in real life isn't unexpected. They're always different, but the same too. It always something really bad, a beating, a fight, watching as someone dies in front of me, but I always end up as Dally. I haven't said anything to him about it; he's got enough to worry about. He stays calm, acts cool, like nothing's wrong, but I can see it bothers him that I'm here. I can see the worry he tries to hide from me every time I wince from the pain.

I wished I would get better already, but I know that probably won't happen. The doctor told me a whole bunch of stuff. He used real big words and I all I got out of it was that my back was broken and I wouldn't be able to walk again. I don't think Dally knows I'm that bad. I won't tell him though, I can't.

I heard my door creak open but didn't bother to look up. Dally came strolling over and sat in the chair by my bed. I smiled at him.

"Back so soon?" I asked, trying to sound normal, but even I could hear the strain in my voice. He looked at me for a minute before smirking.

"Aint nothin' better to do," he told me, sitting back. He had already been here twice today; I didn't expect to see him again. "You feelin' any better?" He asked me. I just shrugged, and he sighed at me.

We started to talk about different things, the gang, mostly. I wished I could get out of here, I hate just lying around feeling myself get weaker and weaker. That can't be good. The conversation between Dally and I had ceased. He played with his lighter in the silence, but didn't move to leave, or talk.

"Tell me about New York," I burst out suddenly. I wasn't loud, but compared to the silence that had preceded it sounded like I yelled. I clamped my lips back together. He didn't say anything for the longest time, just looking at me.

"Why?" He asked finally. I bit my lip. I didn't want to tell him about the nightmares. I had to know though. I had to hear what New York was like so I could know if it was just the drugs they had been doping me up on that caused those dreams. Every time I would wake up, and have a nagging feeling that it meant something, I had to know that feeling wasn't real. Just the drugs.

"You have to answer me first, then I'll tell you," I told him bravely, even if my voice was quiet. He ran a hand through his hair than shut his eyes tight. I didn't disturb him at first, and then I started to think he wouldn't answer me at all. Usually, I would let him answer only if he wanted to. Usually, I wouldn't push him. But today was different. Right now, I needed to know this. "Dally?" I asked, inquiring about New York again.

His eyes snapped open and he jolted up. I could see that look in his eyes, that blazing, scary look. I was honestly scared, even though I knew he wouldn't hurt me. It was just reflex for me to flinch and get scared when people burst with anger near me. He glared at me.

"Why do you want to know, huh, Johnny?" He asked fiercely. "Why does it matter? It's in the past now anyways. It doesn't matter. Can't you just be happy I'm here instead of questioning me about the shit I went through to get here?" He cussed angrily. I felt really bad. Dally shouldn't have to answer questions about a past he obviously didn't want to bring up.

"That bad, huh?" I asked, I didn't mean to say it out loud though. He glared at me again, then stopped. I looked away, down at my hands. I heard him sigh and flop down into the chair beside me. I still didn't look up though.

"You really want to know?" He asked calmly. I should say no. I should leave him alone so he doesn't have to think about those things again. I had to know about the dream though.

"Yeah," I said quietly, nodding slightly. He didn't speak again until I looked up at him.

"Okay," he said quietly, "you have to tell me why you want to know so badly, though. You don't have to say until after I tell you, if you don't want." I looked at him surprised. He was being so... nice. It was very unlike Dally. Then again, Dally isn't always himself around me. I smiled at him and nodded in agreement. "I don't really know where to start," he confessed.

"How about when you moved to New York?" I suggested. He smirked at my obvious answer then sat back in his chair before beginning.

"When I was little, we used to move a lot. It started when I was about four years old, about the time my mom went missing. I don't think she went missing though, I think my dad might have killed her, it would explain all the moving," He stopped. "I never told anyone that Johnnycake," he said quietly. I nodded, I knew this was hard for Dally, he doesn't open up to people. "I hardly remember her, Johnny. I don't even remember what she looked like. All I remember is that whenever dad got mad or drunk and violent, she would hide me in my room so I didn't see anything. She used to take it all, Johnny, for me. To protect me." He cleared his throat and looked up at me. I grabbed his hand comfortingly. I knew first-hand about abuse. I didn't know a single thing about losing someone you loved though. He didn't move away, but shook his head as if he were trying to get his thoughts clear.

"Anyways, we moved a lot. It was one place after another, every couple of years. My dad started beating me. He didn't have my mom around anymore so I was next in line I guess. Eventually, we ended up in New York. I really liked it there at first. I was 8 when we moved there. I like all the people, all the commotion. I could walk down the street and watch the people all day. Our place was crap, some little apartment that smelled awful. I started to spend as much time away as I could, I quickly stopped doing that though.

There were some real tough people around there. I had to watch my back everywhere I went. Everyone around there had a gun. Sometimes I would hear a shot in the middle of the night and wake up, looking around to make sure there was no one in the apartment. I remember the first time I was jumped.

I wasn't doing anything, just kicking some rock down the street, trying not to go home. A car pulled up behind me and some guys got out. They were probably around 15 or 16. I didn't know what they wanted, didn't know they were dangerous. I could tell they were drunk, though.

"Hey, Kid!" One yelled at me.

"Yeah?" I asked innocently. I was so naive.

"What you doin' walkin' round out here alone, huh?" He asked. I can still hear his voice.

"I... I aint doin' nothing," I told him. I was starting to get suspicious of his behaviour. I didn't know what he would want with me.

"Don't get mouthy!" He yelled, walking close to me. His boys followed closely behind him. I knew from my dad not to yell back when someone was like that. I didn't know what to say, so I turned and tried to leave. He grabbed my arm though and yanked me back. I thought he had pulled my arm out of its socket.

He spun me around and hit me in the face. I yelped because I wasn't expecting it, and fell to the ground. I heard them laughing at me. I was real scared by then. He told me to get up, but when I didn't he kicked me in the stomach. I gasped and gritted my teeth against the pain. I felt him yank me up by my already sore arm and he hit me again. I felt something in my mouth snap and squeezed my eyes shut at the pain.

He beat me pretty badly. His gang was laughing behind him the whole time too. Eventually, he got bored and they drove off. Left me laying on the sidewalk. I didn't move for hours. Everything throbbed. I was hoping to die, hoping if I died the pain would go away. I didn't die though, just lay on the sidewalk trying to breath.

I soon realized I couldn't lay there forever. I forced myself up and stumbled home. Every step hurt, it was a lot worse than anything my dad had ever done. When I got back I was crying. I fell to the ground inside my house and wrapped my arms around myself as I cried. Then my dad came out.

"You woke me up, boy," he said gruffly. When I didn't respond he came over to where I was laying. I thought for a second that he would help me. That he did care about me after all and would be worried when he saw me. He didn't though. He just nudged me with his foot and said, "Quiet down."

I guess it was better than beating me, which is what he would've done any other night if I had woke him. But I was laying on the floor crying and bleeding to death. He didn't care though. I had to crawl to the bathroom and try to clean myself up."

Dally was staring past me as he told me. Like he was somewhere far away. He was squeezing my hand, but I don't think he noticed. I stared at him. I knew what it was like to get jumped, but not as an 8 year old. Finally he looked back at me. There was so much pain in his eyes I wanted to cry, but he quickly turned away. Neither of us spoke for a long time.

"I'm sorry, Dally," I told him. It was all I could think of to say.

"It's alright, Johnnycake," he said, taking a deep breath.

"Is that your worst memory from New York?" I asked, after another long silence.

"No, it aint even close." He looked at me again. "I don't want to tell you the rest."

"Okay," I told him, "If you don't want to talk you don't have to." I still wanted to know if anything he could tell me would clue something in for me about my dream, but I didn't want him to have to re-live those moments again.

"Not because of me, Johnny. You... you don't look too good," he told me. It took me a second to realize what he was saying. He didn't want to say any more for fear of scaring me! I laughed a little bit, and he looked at me like I was nuts.

"I'm fine, Dal, really," I told him. He sighed and started to stare past me again.

"My worst moment in New York," he thought for a second, then continued, "watching Dennis die." He said. A long pause followed, then he spoke again.

"Dennis was my best buddy. I had to learn to be tough and fight in New York, he helped me with that. He was a real tough guy, a hood through and through. He never cared about anyone or put up with people's shit. But he took care of me. I was the only one..." Dally stopped, staring at me like he had just figured something out. Then he shook out of it and went on. "We were walking around one night, when we ran into some guy. I think his name was Jay, I don't really know. Apparently, this Jay guy was from a different gang than Dennis, and didn't like him too well.

I wasn't worried, Dennis was a great fighter. He stood in front of me while he and the guy cussed each other out. As it got heated, Dennis reached for his back pocket, where I knew he had a blade, but the other guy moved quickly. He didn't reach for a weapon, though. He moved his hand outwards and made a small movement with his hand, almost like a flicking movement. I looked at him, confused at what he was doing, but before I could think about it, I was grabbed from behind. I felt strong hands wrap around each of my arms. I tried to shout for Dennis, and was hit for it. I struggled to get loose. I elbowed the guy in the stomach, and he loosened his grip, but slugged me a couple times and tightened it up. I had only just turned 10 at the time, so I was no match for this big guy who was holding me. I shouted again for Dennis, and this time he heard me.

I watched as he spun around to help me, and Jay grabbed a blade from his pocket. I screamed 'no,' but it was too late. I saw Dennis' body tense up and he screamed, but it didn't sound like a scream. It sounded much, much worse. Jay pulled his blade out of Dennis and Dennis fell to his knees, his eyes never left mine throughout the whole thing.

Once he lay face-down in the dirt I looked back up at Jay. He was watching me. I wasn't struggling anymore, I was in shock.

Jay came close to me and pushed the blade under my neck. I felt the wetness that was Dennis' blood on my skin. I thought he would kill me. I didn't care if he did or not. He smiled at me, the other guy still held my arms so hard it hurt. Then Jay wiped the knife off on my shirt. I felt it wipe against my chest, one side, then the other. I shuddered as my shirt darkened and moistened with blood. Dennis' blood.

Jay put the clean blade back in his pocket and walked away, motioning for the other guy to follow him. He dropped me to the ground and left. I lay there, stunned for a minute, before I felt Dennis' blood on my shirt and scurried over to him. I kneeled by his head, and turned him over. He was dead though. I was already sitting in a puddle of blood. I sat there and cried for a while, holding his corpse. There was nothing I could do now.

I shouldn't have yelled for him. Shouldn't have made him turn around. I was different after that. It changed me."

I waited as Dally came back to reality again. I was shaking now. He looked at me and his eyes widened.

"Johnny, you're white as a ghost!" He told me. I looked at him.

"So are you." I told him quietly. He didn't say anything for a while. We both just sat and calmed down. Eventually, we both went back to normal, or close to normal, anyways.

"Now you got to me why you wanted to hear that so bad," he told me, his voice back to normal. He was back to his regular self again, and I smiled at the relieved tension. I opened my mouth to tell him, but my door opened.

A nurse walked in, saw Dally, and immediately started yelling at him. She must have known who he was because she was going on about how he should be in his own room and the staff had been looking all over for him. He started mouthing off to her, but she called a couple guys in and they got Dally to leave. He let go of my hand for the first time in hours and stood up. The people all but shoved him out of the room. But not before he looked back at me as if to say 'I'm not dropping this.' I smiled at him as they shut the door.

The nurse gave me more drugs and mumbled angrily under her breath about Dally keeping me up and being no good. I just ignored her. As soon as she left, I fell asleep.

* * *

**Dally's POV**

The damn nurse kept pushing and nagging me. She had to walk in at the worst time. Whatever Johnny was going to tell me was important, I could tell because he was hesitant to say it. I don't usually ask for much from Johnny, so when I want to know something he'll usually tell me. But he didn't this time.

He looked pretty bad when I left. I hoped it wasn't because of my story. No, I hope it was just because of my story. Yeah, that's why he was so pale, why he looked so awful. He was scared of my story. He is not getting worse. It's just my imagination.

Back to my room. Another shove from behind pressing me towards my bed.

"Keep your hand to yourself or I'll rip them off," I snap at the nurse. She looks startled then mumbles something and walks off, closing the door behind her.

Alone again in this little room, with nothing to do. I want to smoke. I need a drink, too. I wonder why I told Johnny all that stuff. I always tell Johnny stuff. Stuff I don't want to tell. I don't what it is about that kid, he's just easy to talk to. I guess it's because I know he won't tell anyone, or care about it making me sound like a pansy. I wish I hadn't told him though. He didn't need to be scared like that, he needed his rest.

I closed my eyes, hoping for sleep. For once, I didn't have horrible thoughts and flashbacks. For once, I actually felt relaxed. I fell asleep more comfortable than I had in years.

When I woke up, the sun was shining brightly. I looked over at the clock. Noon. I wanted to go back to sleep, but it was too bright, even when I closed the curtains. It was way too boring in here. Then, a nurse came in.

"Dallas, you have a visitor." She told me. I grinned because I was so relieved to have someone to talk to, something to take up time. She opened the door a little wider and in came Tim Shepard.

"Hey, Dally," he greeted me.

"Tim," I nodded back. He took a seat beside me.

"You're in the paper you know," my eyebrows raised at his words.

"Oh yeah, what for?" I asked.

"Got a whole bit on how you're a hero," he said, grinning because he knew how that would bother me.

"What?" I was surprised. I was expecting something about the killing, or something along those lines.

"Yeah," he put a newspaper right in front of my face, "who knew Dallas Winston was such a good person?" he teased, and I started to get angry, "What, are you like a bad-ass here on weekdays and a good-doer down in Windrexville on the weekends?" He joked some more. I didn't find it too amusing.

"Shut it, Tim. I can still whip your ass with only one good arm," I threatened. He laughed at me but stopped bugging me. I skimmed through the article. It was mostly about Johnny and Ponyboy, and I was glad about that. But they got me in there 'bravely stepping into a burning church-one that was already falling-to save my friend.' It made me sick to think about how badly this would hurt my rep. Guys like me don't care. Guys like me don't pull stunts like this. Oh well, I'll knock out anyone who implies I'm soft.

"Actually, I can't believe there isn't a 'wanted dead or alive' written under your picture," I laughed at his comment. Tim was almost as tough as me, so we fought a lot. But he was a good guy, even if he was a hood like me. "Rumble's tonight," he told me.

"I aint stupid. I know when the rumble is, Tim," I said bitterly. I knew what was coming.

"Yeah, it's sure going to be a good fight," he rubbed in.

"Can it, Tim," I demanded angrily.

"Oh, don't tell me, your upset you can't be there, huh?" He said, mockingly. I took a hard swing at him, but he stepped out of my way. "Alright, calm down," he grinned, "hey, how's that buddy of yours doing?" He asked suddenly. My anger stopped at the mention of Johnny.

"He's..." I swallowed. I wished I could tell him Johnny would be fine. But I can't. Tim don't really care so much about Johnny, he don't even know him very well. I cared about Johnny though, and I couldn't answer Tim's simple question.

"Dal?" He asked, breaking me from my haze. His voice wasn't soft, but it wasn't hard like it usually is either. I looked up at him.

"I don't know, Tim," I said, honestly. I heard the sadness in my voice and wanted to kick myself. I don't show emotion, especially to Tim. He looked surprised for a second, and I was pretty sure he was going to laugh at me. Mock the fact that not only am I a 'hero,' but a softie too. He didn't though; he just nodded and let it go. We talked for a little while about what was going on. We both had the same opinions when it came to Socs and other people. Of everyone I know, Tim is the most like me, so we actually agree on a lot of things. We're both just too rough and have too much of a temper to go very long without fighting.

After a while, he told me he had to get going. He stayed for a couple hours though, before he decided to leave, so I had killed a lot of time.

* * *

**Johnny's POV**

I had a nightmare again; this one was really bad though. Worse than the rest. By the time I had calmed myself down enough to be able to sleep again, it was daytime.

I don't think I'm getting any better. I'm pretty sure I'm getting worse. I keep feeling lighter and lighter, like I'm less attached to my own body. I can hardly make my body do what I want it to anymore, it takes too much effort. I think I might be dying. That scares me, a lot. I'm not ready to die, I haven't seen enough. I keep thinking about that week in the country. It was so nice, so calm. I didn't even know life could be like that. I do now though; I know that if I can make it through this I can get out of here. I could live and get a job and move to the country when I'm older. I don't want to die yet.

I keep thinking about that poem. The one Ponyboy told me. I have the whole thing memorized. Whenever I hear it I can picture that sunrise in my head. If I do die, I'm real glad I at least got to see that first. I'm real glad Ponyboy showed me that. He is really different from everyone else I know. I hope he never changes, stays good like he is. Keeps remembering poems and watching sunrises. It's good for him.

I heard my door creak open. It was probably the nurse, Dally wasn't allowed to see me anymore, they kept him away saying he would tire me out. I didn't open my eyes and look at who it was until I realized they were sitting in the chair beside me.

"Tim?" I asked. Tim Shepard? Why was he here? I never hang around Tim; I don't think I've ever even had a full conversation with him before. The only connection between us was Dally.

"Hey, Johnny, how you feeling?" He asked me, like it was no big deal he was here.

"Uh..." No point in lying to Tim, he doesn't even really know me, "I think... I think I'm dying," I told him. I had been scared to admit it to myself, to say it out loud, but I felt like I had to. It felt kind of good to let someone else know, even if it was only Tim.

"Oh," he said quietly. Not much you can say to that. "You know you're in the newspaper?" He changed to subject. I looked at him questionably, and he handed me a newspaper. I had wondered what he had in his hand. It was praising me and Ponyboy and Dally for being heroes. I smiled as I read through it. It made me feel really great to know other people knew what we had done. It interviewed some of the parents too, they said that they think were like sent from heaven or something.

"That's pretty tuff," I said, remembering Tim was still there. He nodded. "So... what you doing here?"

"I was visiting Dally and peeked over the nurse's shoulder and could see your room number on her papers. I just thought I'd stop by." He told me. That didn't really answer my question, but whatever. I was glad to have some company.

"How's Dally? He got kicked out of my room when he was visiting me," I asked.

"He... um," Tim wasn't sure what to say. That was weird; Tim was like Dally-he kept his cool and controlled his emotions. "He's real worried about you," he finally said.

"I know," I agreed quietly.

"He wasn't himself when I was there. He acted normal, but something was off. I guess that's why I came to see you, it's not often I see Dally shaken up. Had to see what got to him," Tim went on. I started to worry about Dally. If he was freaking out enough to show it to Tim, he was freaking out a lot. We were quiet for a little bit. "You know we're having the rumble tonight," he said, just making conversation.

"Yeah, I bet Dally's real mad about not being in it too," I said. I didn't really care about the rumble, didn't care about fighting in general. I was glad I wouldn't be a part of it, but I wasn't going to say that to Tim. This is the kind of thing Tim lives for.

"He sure is," Tim said laughing.

"Hey, Tim?" I stopped him suddenly, "you wouldn't happen to know if Ponyboy's fighting, would you?" I hoped not. He wasn't looking too good back at the church and I bet the fire didn't help much. Tim shrugged.

"Couldn't tell you, kid. I know my kid brother's in the cooler and we don't got you or Dally, so I'm assuming he'll be fighting. We're going to need everyone," He told me. I nodded, unhappy. He shouldn't fight, he doesn't even like to fight. "Them Curtis boys are good fighters," Tim commented.

"They sure are," I grinned at the compliment for my friends. All three of them are really strong, even Ponyboy.

"You know, they're a lot different from most the guys around our neighbourhood," Tim said, almost absent-mindedly.

"Yeah, I know. They're different - better. It's because they have each other, a supportive family. Good brothers. That's what makes the difference," I said, then clamped my mouth shut when I realized who I was talking to. Tim probably didn't understand what I was saying. He probably thought I was real soft. I looked over at him, but the look on his face surprised me. He looked deep in thought, and kind of... sad. He shook his head, slowly.

"No, kid, it aint that. It's the parents, the people raising them." He said, and I could tell he was really thinking about it. It was the first time I saw Tim without a mean, hard look on his face.

"Why do you say that?" I asked quietly. He reminded me of Dally. He wouldn't tell you anything unless you specifically asked. Maybe not even then.

"Well, I got Curly and Angel, and were real close. But it's the parent's that are different. Them Curtis' had good parents, parents that raised them well and took care of them. My parents hate us. The only thing my kid siblings have to look out for them is me, and I aint much because I never had no one to look up to," he said, then he must have realized he was letting his real thoughts out because he stopped and made his face look the way it usually does. I sighed.

"You know, you're kind of like Darry," I said, after thinking for a while, "You look after your younger siblings. Not only because you have to, but because you want to. Sure, Darry had the parents to teach him things, so now that he's in charge, he knows to get a job and be responsible and all. But you take care of them without any parents help. I think that's pretty tuff," I said quietly. It was a big speech for me, I don't talk much, but I was glad I said it. If Tim's anything like Dally-which he is-the only way you'll keep him opened up is if you open up too.

"I guess I'm kind of in the same situation as Darry," he said slowly. I could see he was hesitant to say more, so I just sat quietly and waited to see if he would continue. "But, I aint the same as him. The difference between me and them... well, they're good people." He finally decided to say. I didn't realize Tim felt so much, had so much responsibility and actually cared.

"Shoot, Tim, so are you," I told him. He laughed at me.

"You kidding?" He asked, surprised.

"No," I said seriously, "you may not be good in the eyes of the law, or society, or other greasers. But you're good to Angelina and Curly. That makes you a good person," He started to think about that, but when he still didn't look convinced I added, "I think you're a good person."

He was surprised at first, and so was I. But I also knew it was true. Tim had no one to love him growing up, he had nothing to help him. Yet, he still manages to be there to help his younger siblings. No one cared for him, but he cares about them anyways. That's a good person. He smiled at me, after letting my comment sink in, and nodded.

"Thanks, kid. You know, now I know why Dally's so close to you," he told me. I gave him a weak smile. He stood up and looked at the clock. "I got to head out," he stopped and looked at me, "I really hope you make it through, Johnny." Then he turned and left.

I was really surprised about the whole visit. I wondered why he bothered to tell me so much. Probably because I told him I'm dying so he figured I wouldn't tell anyone. I wouldn't have told anyone anyways. I don't know why anyone would even think I would go around telling other peoples secrets. Whatever the reason, I was glad he showed up, it sounded like he really needed to tell someone that.

The doctor came in and examined me. He didn't look to happy, so I really must be pretty bad off. After the doctor left, Two-Bit and Ponyboy came to see me. I was real glad to see them, I hoped I would get to see the rest of the gang soon. I missed them a whole lot. I asked them to get me _Gone with the Wind, _that was a real tuff book, I wanted to know how it ended. Two-Bit went off to get it, leaving me with Ponyboy.

We started talking, and I broke down. I didn't need my guard up around him, he understood me. I was ready to cry as I rambled on about how I didn't want to die, how I wasn't ready to die.

"You aint going to die, Johnny. You can't die. We couldn't get along without you." He told me, and I stopped crying. I hadn't thought about the gang. What would they do after I died? How would they take it? Who would Dally go to talk to? I stopped. Dally. I can't die. I can't. Dally needs me here, Dally needs me to be the one person who knows he's more than just a hood. I was going to say something to Ponyboy when the nurse walked in.

"Johnny, your mother's here to see you," she told me. What? Is she sure it's my mother? Why would my mother be here? Probably to tell me she can't wait 'til I'm gone. I started to tell the nurse not to let her in, keep her away from me. I couldn't take a beating-mentally or physically- in the state I'm in. Before I could say much, I felt a sharp pain burst through me. Then it was gone, everything was gone.

* * *

**Dally's POV**

Ponyboy and Two-Bit came to visit me a while after Tim left. Man, Pony's face was awful when he walked in, looked like he just saw a ghost. Immediately, I freaked out. What if Johnny died or something? Then the kids face relaxed as he saw me being my natural, angry, self. Okay, Johnny's okay then. I was yelling at one of the nurses, they were really getting on my nerves.

We talked about the rumble a little bit. That's not what I wanted to talk about though. When I couldn't take waiting for them to bring it up anymore, I brought it up myself.

"How's Johnny doing?" I asked them. They shared a look before telling me. I didn't like that look.

"He passed out cold before we left," Ponyboy said simply. I clenched my teeth together. Poor Johnny. He shouldn't be in this mess. This is the socs fault! If they would just leave us alone! Why would they jump Johnny? Of all people, why little Johnny? I wanted to kill them. All of them. They deserved it, they deserve pain. Johnny doesn't, Johnny's never done anything to deserve what he gets. I asked Two-Bit for his blade and he gave it to me. I angrily shoved it under my pillow.

"We got to beat them tonight, man. We got to get even with those socs! Do it for Johnny, man. Do it for Johnny!" I already had a plan forming in my head. I had to be in that rumble. I had to.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**I know I haven't updated in a while, I've been really busy. I know it's only been like two or three days, and compared to some of the other stories on here that's really fast, but I usually update every day, so it seems like a long time to me. Anyways, in the book it says that when Two-Bit and Ponyboy visit Johnny, he tells them Tim stopped by to visit Dally. But, in the book, Dally never went to visit Johnny until right before the rumble. So, how would Johnny have known that Tim was there unless he visited Johnny too? Well, I tried to put in what I think could have happened in the visit. I really like Tim's character, because I can do a lot more with him. When I'm writing the other characters, I have to make sure I keep them the way they were in the book so it doesn't get OOC, but Tim wasn't in the book much so I was more free with him. Speaking of OOC, what do you think about Dally confessing to Johnny about New York? Did I go too far and make him too soft? I really tried not to. Thanks again to **Steff Malfoy1**, who gave me the idea of talking about Dally's past in New York. I hope you liked it! This one was a really long chapter, I was going to cut it in half, but I don't really know what I would've titled the other chapter. Well, we're getting close to the end. I hope you're enjoying it, and review pleaseeee! I'll update soon!**


	7. Chapter 7 Rumble and a Broken Heart

Chapter Nine – Rumble and a Broken Heart

**Dally's POV**

I stood up and slipped into my clothes from a couple days ago, the ones I had worn in to Windrexville. They were dirty with ashes and smelled smoky, but I didn't really care. I left my room, this time without having to sneak out, and headed for Johnny's room. One of the nurses saw me in the hallway and tried to stop me, without blinking an eye I whipped out Two-Bit's blade and dared her to even try. I knew what I had to do, and I was going to do it.

The door to Johnny's room was closed, but I walked in anyways. There was another nurse in there. I still had the blade out, so I pointed it loosely towards her then motioned for her to leave. She hurriedly left, fear and worry written plain on her face.

"Johnnycake?" I asked softly, as soon as we were alone. He opened his eyes slowly and tried to smile at me, but it took too much effort for him and he gave up on it. I swallowed the lump in my throat. This can't be happening. "I... I'm going to the rumble," I told him quietly, slowly walking towards him. He didn't reply, so I went on. "Johnny, we're going to win, we'll beat them. They did this to you," I heard the rage creep into my voice, but couldn't control it, "This is their fault. We're going to stomp them Johnny. They deserve it."

"Dal," his voice was so weak when he spoke, it stunned me. "Dal, come back afterwards, okay? Bring Pony too. Please, Dal," he was so quiet, and his voice kept breaking. I didn't say anything for a little bit, still surprised at the horrible sound of his voice.

"Of course, Johnny! Of course I'll be back!" How could he think I wouldn't? "Just... hang in there, buddy. I'll be back soon." I could see it took him a lot of effort to smile in reply. I licked my lips, unwilling to leave, but left anyways. Here would be here when I got back. He had to be.

As I left the hospital, I felt my anger building inside of me. The rage pumped through me, pushing me to run faster towards the lot.

Things were already starting once I get there, but I was there in time for the first punch. I jumped on the first soc I saw and started beating the hell out of him. My arm stung badly, but I ignored it. Every punch was revenge for Johnny. Every soc there was the reason Johnny was the way he was right now. I fought harder than I ever had. I wanted to win; I wanted them to feel the pain they were causing Johnny. I wanted more than that, though. I wanted my own pain to go away. I wanted to make Johnny better. I thought, somehow, beating the sense out of this soc would accomplish that.

Ponyboy helped me out a bit, seeing how I had only one good arm. I didn't want his help, but didn't complain since he obviously needed mine. Everything was blurry; people were everywhere getting hit and kicked. I couldn't see the things around me, only the soc in front of me that I continued to beat.

I started to hear cheering, but didn't pay it any attention. Then Two-Bit's voice cut into my mind screaming "They're running." The socs were running. We won. They were running. Even after I heard the screams I was hitting the guy under me, but eventually let up enough for him to squirm away and run off with his friends. I watched for a moment, triumphantly staring after them. Then I stopped my silent celebration and turned to Ponyboy.

I yanked him to his feet and forced him towards my car. He was in bad shape, but I hardly noticed. I had to get back to see Johnny. I promised him I would be back. The adrenaline from the fight still pumped through me, so I didn't feel any pain. All I felt was an invisible force dragging me to Johnny.

We beat the socs, but that didn't seem to matter to me all of a sudden. Beating them didn't help me, didn't help Johnny. It was their fault, it's all their fault. Not really though. It's my fault. I should have been there to protect him, I should have been watching out for him. I was foolish to try to keep him from becoming like me. If he were like me he wouldn't have gotten into this. If you're tough you don't get hurt.

After getting pulled over and what seemed like the longest drive of my life, I finally got to the hospital. I ran straight to Johnny's room, ignoring the shouts around me. I didn't even care if Pony was behind me anymore. All that mattered was that I see Johnny.

I finally got to the door and the doctor stopped me. I pressed my blade to his chest and told him I was getting in. He thought before he said anything, and if he had told me no, I would've stabbed him right there. I didn't care; I was ready to kill him. He was standing between me and Johnny. But he didn't say no, he let me in.

I burst into the room, afraid I was too late. "Johnnycake?" Oh, god, please answer! He opened his eyes when I called his name.

"Hey," he managed to say. I didn't think it would be possible, but he sounded even worse than he did earlier.

"We won. We beat the socs, stomped 'em good, Johnny," I told him, out of breath.

"Fighting's no good," he choked out quietly. What does that mean? We beat them, we won.

"They're still writing about you in the paper, calling you a hero. We're real proud of you, Johnny," I told him. The way his eyes glowed then made me so happy I couldn't even describe it. It made me feel, through this horrible, messed-up situation, like things were perfect.

"Ponyboy," he called out. Pony went close to him and I heard Johnny whisper to him.

"Stay gold, Ponyboy. Stay gold."

I watched as Johnny's eyes closed and he relaxed into the pillow. No. No. No. He's isn't dead. He can't be dead. He is though. I pushed his hair back out of his face, they way I had done so many times while he was alive. It felt like I wasn't really there, wasn't really doing it. I felt like I was watching myself as I moved.

Then, I slammed back into my own body, and everything hurt at once. I slammed against the wall and yelled out in agony. "Damnit Johnny! Don't die! Don't die Johnny, please don't die!"

I felt all the physical pain of the rumble and my arm throbbed from my burn. But the worst pain was inside. I felt as if I was exploding, I ached everywhere and wanted to hurl and scream and curl up and die. I had to get out of that room, away from that scene, those feelings. I turned and ran as fast and hard as I could away from that place.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Thank you for the reviews! I know this is a short chapter, but It's really all I could do with this part. Thanks for your honest feedback on the last chapter, loved hearing it! **

Steff Malfoy1**, thanks again for such a great review, I honestly look forward to reading what you have to say every time I post a chapter. And I will be re-writing my first chapter, but I have to finish the story first. I really should have made Dally more reluctant to open up, I was thinking of making him pause and stuff more often while he talked to Johnny, I just didn't really want it to break up his story... you know, like wreak the flow of it. 'Cause I was making it like a flashback, but without it being a flashback (if that makes sense). Now that I've slept then read it over though, I realize I probably should have added in more of his hesitation. Thanks for your honesty, and I'm glad you enjoyed it.**

Landyn**, if you're reading this (Which I hope you are) Thank you for the compliments, I'm glad you're enjoying it. I want to let you know I will definitely be doing another OC story after this one, it may be a sister-fic or cousin, or something like that, but I will do another one. I think writing this is a lot more challenging for me than doing an OC, and that's why I wanted to try it, for something different. But I enjoyed the OC story more, so I know I'll be doing another one. Probably either a Dally/OC, Darry/OC or Johnny/OC. **

**I'll update again soon, keep reviewing people, I love to hear what you think!**


	8. Chapter 8 The End is Only the Beginning

Chapter Ten – The End is Only the Beginning

**Johnny's POV**

I wasn't sure where I was. Everything was white, all around me. I couldn't see anything else. I knew I was dead, knew I was gone for good. Somehow, it didn't bother me though. Everything felt right, like that was the way things were supposed to be. I knew I wasn't in heaven, or hell for that matter. I don't know how I knew, but I did. It was weird, like all the knowledge I would ever need I suddenly knew. I also knew something important was happening, something I had to see before I could get out of this white place.

I looked around me. I don't even think I was a room; it didn't look like there were walls. I looked down. Below me was the hospital room. I saw my unconscious body, but it didn't scare me the way I expected it too. Then, I saw Ponyboy. The poor kid was so confused, so lost. I wanted to go help him, but knew I couldn't. Then I remembered something. Dally. Where was he? He was there when I died, but he wasn't anymore. Almost as soon as I thought it, the scene beneath me changed. Dally was driving Buck's car, real fast too. He was shouting things, jibberish. He was crying. I wanted to go tell him everything would be alright, that I was okay, but couldn't move.

I quickly thought back to Ponyboy, wondering if he were still in the hospital. He wasn't though; he was walking down the street. It didn't look like he knew where he was, he was bleeding really badly. I silently willed for him to get home to his brothers safely. A moment after my thoughts, a man pulled up and offered him a ride home. I smiled to myself. Did I just do that? Huh. Tuff enough.

I went back to watching Dally. He was a real mess.

* * *

**Dally's POV**

Johnny's dead. Johnny's dead. Johnny's dead. The words kept repeating in my mind. I kept seeing him, lying on that bed, dead. Gone forever. I would never see him again. Never see him smile or see his big eyes glow at something I said. Like when I told him I was proud of him.

I was proud of him. I've always been proud of him. Johnny was stronger than every one of us. He could take the beatings, the insults, and still love his parents. Still love the gang. Still love me. Why would he love me? Why would he look up to me of all people? He deserved someone better than me. Someone who could've watched out for him better. I had failed him. I failed myself.

All I had to do was take care of Johnny. The one thing in this world I had to do. The one thing in my life I cared about. I couldn't do it though. I screamed out at myself. Why did I have to send him to that church? Why couldn't I have found him faster? Why did he have to die?

Damnit! I'm only one person. I can't protect the kid all the time! I'm sorry, Johnny! Sorry I let you down! Sorry I let you die!

"Why did he have to die? Why him?" I whimpered. I wasn't talking to anyone though, no one could hear me. No one cared. There isn't a God. I know that now. If there was, why would Johnny be dead? Johnny didn't deserve to die; he never did anything to anyone. He was good. He was so good. He was the only thing I had, the only purely good thing in my life. He shouldn't be dead. "Damnit! Why did you take him? Huh? Why him!" I screamed.

Where was I? I had been in Buck's car moments ago. I looked around me, but everything was blurry. I touched my face and was surprised to feel that I was crying. When was the last time I cried? I couldn't remember. It's not like it mattered now anyways. Nothing mattered anymore.

The pain inside me was too much to bear. It was throbbing and stinging and every time I took a breath it hurt even worse. Every breath I took was one that Johnny never could. Every beat of my heart was more beats than Johnny would ever get. It wasn't fair. This stupid world wasn't fair. Life wasn't fair.

I looked up and I was at a corner store. The tears had stopped falling from my eyes, but I wouldn't have cared if they were still there. I went in and started stealing things. I don't know what I was doing. Just working off instinct I guess. The clerk yelled something at me, and I walked over to him. He was saying something, but I couldn't hear him. All I heard were my thoughts, screaming at me inside of my head. Then, I whipped out my gun.

Was it loaded? I didn't remember. I couldn't remember anything except the fact that Johnny was dead. I pointed it at his head. I could see he was scared shitless. I could kill him. Shoot him right now. Why not? Why shouldn't I? What does it matter? Why should this man get to live when perfect little Johnny doesn't? He shouldn't. He shouldn't be alive if Johnny couldn't be. No one was as good as Johnny. Heck, why should I live if Johnny doesn't?

My mind froze. Why am I alive without Johnny? I don't deserve to be alive. Johnny does. I yelled at the man to give me the money. I didn't want it, didn't care about it. It was just instinct to at least get the money. I looked at the man once more before leaving, and considered pulling the trigger. Ending his life. For some reason, I didn't though, and ran out the door.

* * *

**Johnny's POV**

I watched him, ready to kill the man. He didn't know that man, didn't know that man had a family and children. He didn't care though. _Don't shoot him_ I thought, and Dally ran out the door.

I watched him go up the street and find a payphone. Yes, call Darry. They'll help you. I knew he didn't want help though. I knew he just wanted to talk to them again. It was like I could read his thoughts, not really though. More like, feel his feelings. He started to cry again when he heard Darry's voice, so caring and concerned.

Then he took off towards the lot. I watched as the police cars cut him off. Watched as the officers got out of their cars with their guns loaded. I watched as Dally took a quick look at the gang then pulled his heater out. Then I remembered something. It wasn't loaded! No, Dally! I tried to scream, to reach towards him and stop him. But I could do nothing. All I could do was watch.

* * *

**Dally's POV**

I pulled out my gun and pointed it towards the police. They would shoot me, I knew it. I wished I hadn't told the gang to come though, wished they wouldn't have to watch. But, at the same time, I was glad they were there. Because I got to see them one last time. At least I knew they cared enough to show up for me. I realized then that they did matter to me. I cared about them. Too bad it wasn't enough.

I kept running with the heater towards them. The police didn't hesitate to shoot me. It hurt, but it felt like nothing compared to the pain I had felt since I watched Johnny die. I crumpled to the ground, as I lost my sense of feeling. The last thing I saw before the darkness swallowed me was Johnny's face, with his big black eyes and shy smile. I was glad to be dead.

I felt nothing, no pain or anger or sadness or fear. I looked around myself. It was white, everything was white. There is no way I'm in heaven. After everything I've done, how could I be in heaven? It sure didn't seem like hell though.

"Dally?" I heard a soft voice from behind me. So familiar, so warm and comfortable. I feared when I turned around he wouldn't be there. Maybe that was what hell was. They would make me hear Johnny's voice, and feel close to him but never actually let me be with him again. If it is I'll kill myself again. I'll go crazy.

I swallowed back my fears and slowly turned around.

There he was, little Johnny. He looked exactly how he did when he was alive, just without the bruises and scars. I only stared for a second before I ran to him. I grabbed him and hugged him. I held him so close that we could never let go. I could never let him go again. Johnny. It was really Johnny. I heard him laughed as he hugged me back. "Dal, you're squeezing the life out of me," he joked, then laughed harder. I laughed too, but I could feel tears of relief pouring down my face.

I set him down and pulled away, but not far. I pushed the bangs out of his face and held his shoulder with one arm. "Johnnycake." It was all I could say. It came out as a whisper, but as soon as I said it I started to laugh. Then I wiped my tears. "I thought I would never see you again!" I screamed at him. I saw him smile at me, his little smile, and felt myself returning to normal. "Don't ever scare me like that again!" I yelled, not really sure what I was saying. It wasn't an angry yell though, it was a relieved one.

"Okay, Dal. Don't worry. Things will be okay now," he told me, and I could hear the smile in his voice. As he said it, I knew it was true. Things were going to be okay now. I also realized that, for the first time in years, I was happy. Really happy.

* * *

**Johnny's POV**

Things would be okay now. I knew they would be. I was comfortable and safe and so was Dally. Then, I saw a light from behind me. I turned to look at it, and knew Dally did too.

There was a field, and misty air above it. Everything was still for a moment, silent. I watched the clouds turn pink and orange, and the mist turn gold. I smiled, knowing what was coming. The sun poked out from under the field, lighting everything all around us.

I stared at it a moment longer, then turned and looked at Dally. His eyes were fixed on the sight and his mouth was slightly open. I remembered writing a note to Ponyboy, telling him I wanted Dally to see a sunrise, to know there is still good in the world. I guess that just happened. After a couple minutes of silence he looked down at me. Then he smiled. It was a real, genuine smile. Not his usual bitter one.

"That sure was something else, Johnnycake," he said, still smiling. He put an arm over my shoulders as we walked towards the sunrise. It felt normal, like walking down the street back in Tulsa. Except here, we didn't have any worries. "Hey, you think they'll let us smoke up here?" Dally asked, digging in his pocket for a smoke. I laughed, and so did he.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Well, that's the end. Thank you to my reviewers. Steff Malfoy1, big thank you for all your reviews and help with this story. I really enjoyed writing this, and I hoped everyone else liked it too. I'm going to be doing another OC story after this one, so if you liked my other one 'Courage, Love, Strength, Life,' be sure to keep an eye out for my next one. Please review and let me know what you think of this story, I love hearing your opinion! **


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